Growing up.

I've matured.
I'm moving on.

So go here instead, it's what I'm starting/working on

http://mrflintscott.tumblr.com/

The Praxis II Can Suck My Dick!

Yesterday I had the exciting privilege of taking the 80 dollar Praxis II test required to gain teacher certification in my content area, English.
Needless to say, this obnoxious shit-eating test left me with a bad taste in my mouth. (which I fixed with a bad ass bacon egg and cheese sammich and mound of hash browns from Letterman's Diner... fuckin A!)

This bad taste wasn't due to my fear of failing, maybe I did... I don't know... sometimes I felt like I was on top of the world, others not so much... mostly due to the fact that when I felt I got one wrong, it ended up being a few questions in a row... ugh.

Honestly though, bullshit standardized tests, I usually do pretty well on. Praxis I i got through with flying colors, I even managed to pass the writing section, which I wrote quite informally in. Mainly due to being prompted with such an enraging essay question, "Do you think Americans are materialistic," oh boy, the person who rated that must have had a blast.
I even scored higher on my SAT than my guidance counselor predicted... and he blatantly called me out on it; "Your score doesn't make any sense to me..." That's nice, glad he could have some confidence. Not that I scored particularly well... but after three years of PSAT's predicting I wouldn't get over a 1000, beating that curve by about 200 impressed him.
And then, even all through grade school with all those CAT tests and whatnot, I always managed to get into the above average percentiles.

So hating this test isn't even a matter of me feeling like I failed it, or that I can't take these kinds of tests... because I certainly can. These kinds of tests always tier me into the slightly above average, capable category... which I can agree is a fair assessment of my skill. However, my test taking skills were slightly shaken yesterday when I had 80 dollars and teacher certification on the line... obviously, taking CATs and PSATs... I could have given two shits less.

Anyway, let me get away from bragging about my slightly above average-ness skills concerning test-taking and tell you why I think this test is bullshit.

Firstly, about 60% of this test was solely reading comprehension.
You know, the same fucking questions you've seen on EVERY standardized test... huge chunk of paragraph, followed by 2-4 questions about it.
This is my content area test, why are there so many of these.
A.) These were on my Praxis I
B.) I'm a fucking English major, this is my concentration... can you just assume I have some reading skills... maybe?
But no, you "test" my reading skills by forcing me to answer all of these questions in a completely unrealistic to life situations "test."
When am I going to have to read 40 fragments of stories and essays, and answer 2-4 questions about each within a 2 hour period?
This isn't applicable to my concentration... sure I have to have reading comprehension skills, but I feel like I'm being tested on my test taking ability more than anything.
Which shouldn't be the focus of this test.
It's teacher certification!

Then, I have to deal with the bullshit answers.
Well, they at least upped the the difficulty of the answers, or maybe it just seemed that way because I was a little flustrated.
For example, one excerpt asked the question, "How would you describe the feelings of the character in this piece?"
I got the answers down to A.) Anxious B.) Apprehensive...
Then, wait a second, aren't these words fucking synonyms?
They're unreasonably close... and when you're in a frustrating, not applicable to real life testing situation... you are in no position to differentiate which one is "more right. "

Much fewer of my questions had to do with teaching situations... maybe 10-15 TOPS of the 120 actually applied any teaching knowledge. "What would be the best way to teach this... apply that... etc."
One question asked.
"Your school has supplied you with a text that has a lot of large and difficult words that your students may not be familiar with, what would be the best way to work with this book?"
One of the fucking choices was "get a different book."
That better have been my guaranteed throw away answer! If that's the answer someone should be fired, immediately.

Another type of question that annoyed me was the simple, "here's an excerpt from a book.. choose the name of book and author."
I'd consider myself pretty well read, especially when it comes to things high schoolers are expected to read... but two of these such questions, I was clueless... knew none of the books or authors... ugh.
Of course, both of those questions were associated with all female authors, so maybe that's just saying something about me...

As time came to a close for the test I started to think positively however...
"At least I can do well on the written part," I thought.
Oh wait... there is no written part.
The Fucking Certification test to teach English doesn't even have any fucking written essays!
No application! I'm not required to have a portion of the test which rates whether I have any kind of writing skills, any critical analysis skills, no use of any kind of literary theory, not even basic application of the 5 paragraph essay!
What a fucking joke...

So needless to say, I think a standardized test that decides whether or not I'm "certified" to teach my concentration area is absolute rubbish!
Ironic that, in all my of Education classes we stress how much the education system needs to break away from standardized testing, how acknowledging Bloom's Taxonomy (More than just Knowledge and Comprehension skills are important but Analytical, Synthesis, Application, And Evaluative skills as well) the 9 Intelligences (more than just Logic and Reading skills, but Spatial, Intra-Inter Personal Skills, so on).
How all of these concepts are important, and then the deciding test is a nonsense, useless standardized test which appeals to nothing but basic Knowledge and Comprehension Skills, and The Logic/Reading skill, test taking intelligences.

I went into that test expecting to apply so much more.
To be asked to identify poetic forms, literary conventions, general writing and grammar skills and all of these were much less acknowledged than "reading comprehension."

I call bullshit on Praxis II...
It can suck my dick...
and if I have to take that shit again... oh boy will I be mad.

James Marsden: Hollywood's Rebound

I want to take James Marsden on a date. Actually, I want to take him on a lot of dates. And I want us to develop a comfortable love life and relationship. Eventually even a marriage... and we can have a beautiful life together with; two and a half kids, a golden retriever and a house with a white picket fence.

Not because I'm gay or anything.
Because I'm not and if I were, James Marsden is kind of an obscure guy to want as my man lover.
But, I want to do this for him, because he deserves it. Judging from the 3 X-Men movies, Enchanted, Superman Returns and the Notebook he kind of gets the bad end of the deal in his love-life.

In every one of these movies, he gets the shaft. And I'm not sure what else he's been in (except the movie Sex-Drive... in which his character ends up being gay, so literally does get the shaft) but I imagine he gets dicked over in all of his other movies and real life as well. He's just the Hollywood go to guy to get fucked over in his relationship.

X-Men 1-3 for example. He's Jean Gray's guy, and leader of the X-men. But he comes off as a jerk-off? Why? Because Wolverine is trying to get some of his girl, so he treats him poorly. I don't think that's a dick move... that's fucking normal. If a guy's coming onto your girl, and blowing you off... he's a fucking douche-bag and he deserves no respect from you. But Cyclops Marsden comes off as a dick because of his protectiveness with Jean, and dislike for Wolverine. And ultimately, is fucking KILLED by his girl when she is possessed by some kind of super being. And that Wolverine gets to kiss her and tell her he loves her in the end, he also kills her for being possessed... but still. That sucks man... he has to compete with Wolverine who "loves" her because of one good conversation they have AND he gets killed. Bullshit.

In Enchanted. He is the typical fairy tale prince searching for his bride. He sings, is valiant, goes on a huge journey to find and rescue the princess... he's fucking perfect Prince Marsden, . But what happens? She falls for some regular dude from the real world in the end. When I questioned this I was told that this was a feminist attempt to "break the fairy tale traditions," but that's no excuse. This guy has nothing but good intentions. He jumped into a foreign dimension to fucking rescue her... and he gets the shaft!? No good.

In The Notebook, he is the "other guy." You know, the guy Rachel McAdams has been dating and is ENGAGED too... because her ex-lover disappeared, stalked her for years, and obsessed over her to the point of building her a house. And again, Notebook Marsden gets ditched by his fucking fiance for this other schmuck. I pointed this out to girls who adore this movie for its "romantic qualities" and was told it was because Notebook Marsden is wealthy and materialistic. A) This isn't proven! Just because a guy is wealthy and successful doesn't mean he's materialistic per se. and B) the other guy lures her in by building her a fucking house. That's materialistic, not romantic. If it was romantic they could live in a fucking cardboard box because they loved each other so much.

in Superman Returns, he is dating Lois Lane. No need to elaborate... he's competing with FUCKING SUPERMAN.

Now, as you can see I've presented a clear case of James Marsden being a great man... in need of a great AND loyal woman.
If I'm lucky, a woman out there will read this, and date and marry him for me.
Or maybe, we can find some people who agree, we can start a petition and try to get this man some success.

But... if nothing happens soon.
I will do for this man what needs to be done.

Good Comics vs Bad Comic

Did you ever see a chick comedian who does nothing but make the most cliche woman jokes? Like referring to her period, and how men refuse to stop for directions.
How about black comedians who do nothing but discuss the differences between white and black folks?
Or how about, that guy Josh Blue, who has cerebral palsy and has a tendency to center all of his jokes around just living with that. Which is kind of entertaining, and he also gets the sympathy laugh but that's ALL he talks about.
How about any Blue Collar Comedy Comedians. Who do nothing but come up with one line ("You might be a redneck," "here's your sign" "git'r'dun") and then apply it to any random comment they think up. (I'll exclude Ron White, he just happens to be white trash, he doesn't center all his jokes on it)

These are some shitty obnoxious types of comedians.

And somehow Jeff Dunham manages to encompass all of these, and unmentioned others into his act... and that's why he sucks.

Jeff Dunham has a huge stand-up comedy career that does nothing but disappoint me. He's not funny... and people seem to think because he has puppets, he is.
Here's a hint, he has the dummies because he's not funny.

He picks up his old man puppet, Walter.
Now he makes jokes about being a cranky old man.
Wow... how clever.

He picks up dummy of a hick.
Insert white trash jokes...
He's a genius.

Pimp Dummy, Dead terrorist dummy, jalapeno dummy, and Peanut the monkey
All Racially insensitive.
All focused entirely on stereotype jokes.
NOT FUNNY.

You see, anyone who isn't amused by puppets at a kindergarten level, would realize Jeff Dunham isn't actually funny. At all. But because so many people are such simple saps, and clap their hands and giggle whenever they see puppets... he has taken off.

And that's why I am disappointed in people.
And also why I don't think he's funny.

Hopefully his show will help people realize this, and will get canceled pronto.

Money Concerns

Sometimes I get depressed about the thousands of dollars in debt I am accumulating due to being a student.
This situation seems pretty shitty... people like me who motivate to better ourselves and contribute to society build up thousands of dollars in debt and spend years paying back the government.
Meanwhile other pieces of shit in this country who plan to never better themselves and never contribute to society, basically leech off of the government, essentially get PAID to do nothing via welfare, unemployment, etc.
Not that I'm saying all of those people don't need it, but there are PLENTY of people cheating the system... don't deny it.
Now is it just me or does this seem Back Asswards?
I work hard, to get a good job... so I can pay back my first 3 years salary for the job I got?
Others... don't have jobs and get paid due to their "inability" to make money or live?

Well anyway... I didn't come here to complain about those who leech off of the government. I don't know enough about welfare and unemployment to rant about it. I'm here to rant about college debt... and how I am starting to feel better about it.

Lately I've been feeling like... you know what, so what if I have thousands of dollars in debt before I even start my life. I know I can do it.
And it's not just for the obvious aspect of "how many people like me are in the same boat."
I mean, that's an obvious factor... plenty of my peers are in the same boat.
But... I'm feeling better because I know I'm a lot more CAPABLE than them with money.

Having worked at Wawa for years, I see how much people SUCK at spending money.
I see the same people come in every day and buy multiple cups of coffe, energy drinks, cigarettes, and other shitty food.
That shit adds up!
Those douche bags that "need a kick" in the morning, buy multiple red bulls a day. That's a lot of money. 2 red bulls is 5 bucks. 2 every day. A pack of cigarettes every day at 6 bucks a pop. 3 cups of coffee a day at 1.50. Someone that needs all three of those things is spending 10 bucks a day right there.
That's money I won't be spending. I don't smoke, drink coffee, nor am I a tool to the energy drink trend.
Then of course we can factor in people who drink every day... people who eat out all the time.
People spend a lot of money they could easily save if they had some control and intelligence.
Not to mention, so many Americans are materialistic... people need nice cars, new phones every 6 months, nice clothes...
There goes tons more money on things that aren't ESSENTIAL.
What's wrong with a working used car? A phone that doesn't have this months latest phone upgrade? Not having a polo shirt for every day of the month?

I'll be fine once I get into the real world with all my debt.
Because I'm smarter with my money than most of the pieces of shit out there with the same amount of debt as me.
I'm not the smartest... but I'm certainly smarter than the people I see in Kutztown every day.


But I'm still pissed that the system works in a way the fucks students over... there has to be a better way to do this stuff.

Oh, and a final note.
To those students who go to college just because their parents can easily pay for it, but who don't genuinely give a shit about it.
Fuck you... if you don't wanna be here have your parents pay for someone else to go.

Shitty Quotes: Volume 1

I'm considering starting a second blog focused SOLELY on criticizing people for shitty quotes I overhear.
No matter where I am, I always hear somebody say something they should be embarrassed for... or preferably insulted for.
But... knowing me I wouldn't update that blog every time I hear a shitty quote, so I'll just make a point of including them here whenever I find one I like.

1.) "If you're a guy and you don't like football, you're borderline gay."
Nothing hits the spot more than some good dinner eavesdropping. Hearing this shit is why I'm always keeping an ear out for dipshits around me. Granted, this guy gets SOME forgiveness for using the key word "borderline," but still nothing says "Hey guys I'm really insecure in my sexuality so I like sports," more than this quote. And everyone knows they have a friend who overcompensates for their lack of masculinity or comfort with their sexuality by liking sports. I know I do/did. Any guy that says "He forced himself," to like sports... well that is over the borderline of gay. The only thing you wanted "forced" is another guy's.. nevermind. I just wanted to point out that this quoter is obviously insecure and gay.

2.) Girl - "So are you like... really smart."
Guy - "What do you think? I'm on the football team."
Unfrotunately too many people like this: go to my college, take up space, and throw thousands of dollars away every year. What the fuck? Are these people serious? Is he that happy being a useless piece of shit who's not actually at college to get an education? Well fuck him... thanks for lowering the value of the BA asshole.

3.) "I just feel bad for people who weren't raised reading the Bible..."
I think everyone who reads this shit can assume what I have to say about it. This broad sucks, I wish I would have stopped to fight her.

Oh That Seth MacFarlane.

Oh man, the Cleveland Show is starting tonight...
Another brilliant show created by Seth MacFarlane, how DOES he do it.

Oh I know... he doesn't.

I don't get it. MacFarlane makes Family Guy, Politically Charged Family Guy, and now Black Family Guy and people seem to think that he is the most brilliant animated show creator EVER.
Seriously?
According to some Family Guy is the apex of comedic genius... (in animated television)
Seriously?

UGH!

I like the shows, they are amusing... but people give them so much credit for being something they're not.
They're not clever... they fill the show with pop culture references, which people love, and random physical gags, which are less funny in cartoons, in place of actually coming up with any witty jokes or story lines.

Robot Chicken does something similar... but they don't try to trick you into watching a half hour show with a make-believe plot, they make it 11 minutes and make it completely obvious there is no plot or any cohesion to their episodes at all, also they fill it with many/much more clever, witty jokes... it's all around better. (Usually)

But I'm sick of people mentioning Family Guy moments as being amazingly hilarious.
Peter can only fight the chicken so many times before it gets old. (It has)
And they can only make so many shitty self-references and repeated jokes (greased up deaf guy wasn't funny the first time... why have I seen him again?)
Also, talking animals aren't funny anymore... Brian the Dog at first seemed like a clever character. An amusing spin on Snoopy... very amusing. But then they had the fish on American Dad (who like Brian has a crush on the wife of the family... real unique) and now they have a talking bear on the Cleveland show. Oh the wit.

And Family Guy is in syndication so much!
It's on 5 different channels, and on for probably 5-6 hours a day.
That's nuts!
We're conditioning people to have shitty senses of humor, and almost no attention span. (Not that we're not doing that in dozens of other respects in our culture today)
We make them think that making arbitrary pop culture references, is always funny.
When in fact... it's not!

Think about it like this.
I've watched episodes of Family Guy at the bar, with no sound, because... I'm at a crowded bar.
And it was still fairly amusing...
you know why?
Because you don't need to listen, you don't need to have any idea what's going on... because NOTHING IS GOING ON.
I'll just randomly see Gary Coleman and laugh...
Or see Peter get hit in the nuts...
That's not funny, clever, or witty TV at all.

And if you want to argue with me and say, "Well you laughed when it was on mute... that must mean it's good."
You know what else is good on mute... "America's Funniest Home Videos." (it's actually funnier on mute... removes unnecessary host commentary.)
And you know how much writing and thought goes into that show's clips... NONE.
It's the comedic equivalent of going on youtube and searching "kicked in the nuts," or "punched in the face."
Sure you'll laugh, but that doesn't mean it's witty or clever in any way.

But then again, I realize my thought process would technically make Seth MacFarlane a genius for knowing how to cash in on America's stupidity.
But he's not fucking good at coming up with funny TV shows.
Only his voice is funny... if that is his real voice.

And now I can only top this off with the writers of Family Guy.