So I'm reading this grammar book... because, I like to make efforts to improve myself.
Anyway, I'm reading this stickler guide to grammar, which is weird since (if you're reading this you know) I'm not uptight about grammar at all. But, when it comes to writing and editing schoolwork I make a genuine effort.
So, the author in discussing commas and semicolons and takes an excerpt from the Bible. She changes the grammar alone and one can get a completely different interpretation of the excerpt.
I'm not gonna post the example, because... fuck that, this isn't a a research paper. Just take my word for it, I didn't pull this shit out of my ass.
But yeah, that's nuts... that people commit so much to something that can be disputed so easily.
I mean, I've argued about those hardcore nazi Christians that come to my school before, and how I think it's moronic that they're so adamant about a book that's existed for 2000+ years... been through, god knows (pun intended) how many different languages, translations, and interpretations... and can still stick so strongly to the word... like Jesus wrote it down and handed it to them himself.
Like it's outrageous to me... to feel so strongly (and try to force that on others) about a book that... you don't honestly know the history of.
I doubt they studied Latin and fucking dug up the Dead Sea Scrolls to do their research.
They picked up a fucking, mass produced, thoroughly edited... special edition of the Bible from some Christian book store... groan. And now they're telling other people how to live their life, according to this book they just paid 26.50 for from Penguin Publishers.
But I never thought of this argument on such a level of grammar alone...
Imagine that.
Your beliefs can be shattered on the re-placement of commas and semicolons alone.
Fucking... fancy dots can dispute everything you believe.
What assholes.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
I'd hire Mike Vick as my dog-sitter.
I don't give a shit about sports; but I certainly like criticizing its fans and their worthless opinions.
So per usual, if you know me I live in Philly, this week the Eagles picked up Mike Vick the dog-killer and tons of people are up in arms.
I'm not going to go off on a huge rant as I usually tend to do. I've got something different planned for today.
Jobs Mike Vick was not hired to do in Philly:
Dog-sit
Pet store manager
kennel director
PSPCA employee
baby-sitter
kindergarten teacher
nurse at hospital or home for elderly
dog-catcher
animal control
Phila. zoo job
you're starting to get the point I'm sure.
Job Mike vick was hired to do:
Be a big athlete in a sport filled with big scary men who tackle and dominate one another in an attempt to move a ball up and down a field for points.
A sport attended and watched by thousands of people every week. Primarily people who get drunk while watching... then proceed to drive drunk, pee in public, and physically fight with one another over which team is the best.
Meh... I'm done for now.
So per usual, if you know me I live in Philly, this week the Eagles picked up Mike Vick the dog-killer and tons of people are up in arms.
I'm not going to go off on a huge rant as I usually tend to do. I've got something different planned for today.
Jobs Mike Vick was not hired to do in Philly:
Dog-sit
Pet store manager
kennel director
PSPCA employee
baby-sitter
kindergarten teacher
nurse at hospital or home for elderly
dog-catcher
animal control
Phila. zoo job
you're starting to get the point I'm sure.
Job Mike vick was hired to do:
Be a big athlete in a sport filled with big scary men who tackle and dominate one another in an attempt to move a ball up and down a field for points.
A sport attended and watched by thousands of people every week. Primarily people who get drunk while watching... then proceed to drive drunk, pee in public, and physically fight with one another over which team is the best.
Meh... I'm done for now.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Harry Twatter and the full blood prick
Really... fucking really?
So, my coworker and I mentioned an intent see the new Harry Potter movie during work the other day.
And... well, a passing coworker overheard and shot down our Harry Potter dreams by asking us not to talk about it, because it's against her religion.
Now, I didn't defend my case... because, I would have gotten fired because I couldn't just tell her she was wrong, I'd have to insult her intelligence, faith... etc... and work just isn't the place to do that.
But really... really... really? Are you fucking kidding me.
A.) Your religion has nothing to do with us, so let us fucking talk about it.
B.) It's not actually your opinion, because I know had I argued with you... you would have had no argument or any good points to make.
C.) It's not against your religion, and your faith is filled with assholes.
Are people seriously still making these arguments?
I thought the 7th book of the series would have put all the haters in their place.
Since the series ends stressing sacrifice, friendship, love... things I've noticed Christianity generally encourages.
But no, solely focused on magic... god forbid we try to nurture any kind of imagination in our children, Tv and internet do more than enough for them right?
No. I'm wrong, obviously, kids see this magic, and relize they'll never believe in god, will pursue their own magical talents and magical school... and so on.
Frankly I think you're all a bunch of fucking tards (A statement that probably would have been completely unacceptable in the workplace.)
I guess you'll just read the bible to your kid and tell them how the human race spawned from 2 humans, who then spread into ever greater numbers by inbreeding the shit out of one another for a few generations.
Much better fiction for kids right...
Anyway, Harry Potter isn't opposed to Christianity.
If you think this it's because you're stupid. You're brain washed by your beliefs.
And when you're brain washed you don't get a real opinion.
Oh and one final note.
I'm constantly noticing dumb asshole hypocrites who argue for religious concerns, but then conveniently... go against their religious ideals in some other way.
For example, my coworker stresses that Harry Potter is against her religion. But she has a kid and she's never been married. Doesn't your religious say anything about pre-marital sex... I went to catholic school about 12 years, I think I remember something about that.
And then there's every dumb broad I know who insists that Abortion is murder life is sacred, but I've caught a few of them using either birth control or the morning-after pill... so you get two strikes for pre-marital sex and finding alternative forms of destruction of life...
Cunts.
So, my coworker and I mentioned an intent see the new Harry Potter movie during work the other day.
And... well, a passing coworker overheard and shot down our Harry Potter dreams by asking us not to talk about it, because it's against her religion.
Now, I didn't defend my case... because, I would have gotten fired because I couldn't just tell her she was wrong, I'd have to insult her intelligence, faith... etc... and work just isn't the place to do that.
But really... really... really? Are you fucking kidding me.
A.) Your religion has nothing to do with us, so let us fucking talk about it.
B.) It's not actually your opinion, because I know had I argued with you... you would have had no argument or any good points to make.
C.) It's not against your religion, and your faith is filled with assholes.
Are people seriously still making these arguments?
I thought the 7th book of the series would have put all the haters in their place.
Since the series ends stressing sacrifice, friendship, love... things I've noticed Christianity generally encourages.
But no, solely focused on magic... god forbid we try to nurture any kind of imagination in our children, Tv and internet do more than enough for them right?
No. I'm wrong, obviously, kids see this magic, and relize they'll never believe in god, will pursue their own magical talents and magical school... and so on.
Frankly I think you're all a bunch of fucking tards (A statement that probably would have been completely unacceptable in the workplace.)
I guess you'll just read the bible to your kid and tell them how the human race spawned from 2 humans, who then spread into ever greater numbers by inbreeding the shit out of one another for a few generations.
Much better fiction for kids right...
Anyway, Harry Potter isn't opposed to Christianity.
If you think this it's because you're stupid. You're brain washed by your beliefs.
And when you're brain washed you don't get a real opinion.
Oh and one final note.
I'm constantly noticing dumb asshole hypocrites who argue for religious concerns, but then conveniently... go against their religious ideals in some other way.
For example, my coworker stresses that Harry Potter is against her religion. But she has a kid and she's never been married. Doesn't your religious say anything about pre-marital sex... I went to catholic school about 12 years, I think I remember something about that.
And then there's every dumb broad I know who insists that Abortion is murder life is sacred, but I've caught a few of them using either birth control or the morning-after pill... so you get two strikes for pre-marital sex and finding alternative forms of destruction of life...
Cunts.
Opinions.
I haven't said much lately.
But that's because nothing has made me mad enough... I've been spending my angry time just antagonizing people on facebook.
People love to argue when I insult what they like, as if my opinion has any real value to anyone other than myself.
As if, because I think a: show, movie, band, sports team... sucks, or they suck for liking it they are legitimately losing value.
Fuckin dipshits.
It's funny, as someone who blogs and shares their opinion... I don't give a shit about ANYBODY else's opinion. I think, there are maybe 5 or 6 people I listen to, and that's only concerning select topics among them.
Anyway... so say I mention I like something and someone puts it down, that's the end of the conversation.
Am I going to argue?
No, there's no point... I like it, they don't... it's something we don't have in common end of conversation.
For example.
I still like the comedian Dane Cook. A lot of other people don't like him anymore... because he was popular. (So fuck people who suggest I rip things cause they're popular... I rip things cause I hate em, and it just so happens I hate a lot of shit.)
Anyway, so I'll throw in a Dane Cook joke... and listen to like a 5 minute rant.
"Oh man, he's so overrated, he's not funny at all... blaaaahdy blaaahdy blah."
First of all... most of the time these people are lying. I can recall 3 people off the top of my head who have given me this speech... and I know they like him, I've heard them quote him... so they're fucking, trendy faggots.
Secondly of all... where does the conversation go from there....
"Oh... I do."
The end?
Shut up.
I plan to go see a movie, I mention it to somebody and I have to hear somebody... "Oh you wanna see that, I think it looks awful."
Oh... I had better cancel my plans then...
Thanks for looking out bro.
No.
You're wrong.
I might be a hypocrite, I share my opinions on here, but... don't give a shit about others. Fuck them.
But I came up with a mentality that saves me from being a hypocrite.
A.) If you're reading this... you do think my opinion has some validity, or at least entertainment value... so it's the same as asking me "John, share your opinions and brilliance with me"
and
B.) I at least entertain with my opinions... other people are boring and stupid when they share theirs. So I have that going for me.
But that's because nothing has made me mad enough... I've been spending my angry time just antagonizing people on facebook.
People love to argue when I insult what they like, as if my opinion has any real value to anyone other than myself.
As if, because I think a: show, movie, band, sports team... sucks, or they suck for liking it they are legitimately losing value.
Fuckin dipshits.
It's funny, as someone who blogs and shares their opinion... I don't give a shit about ANYBODY else's opinion. I think, there are maybe 5 or 6 people I listen to, and that's only concerning select topics among them.
Anyway... so say I mention I like something and someone puts it down, that's the end of the conversation.
Am I going to argue?
No, there's no point... I like it, they don't... it's something we don't have in common end of conversation.
For example.
I still like the comedian Dane Cook. A lot of other people don't like him anymore... because he was popular. (So fuck people who suggest I rip things cause they're popular... I rip things cause I hate em, and it just so happens I hate a lot of shit.)
Anyway, so I'll throw in a Dane Cook joke... and listen to like a 5 minute rant.
"Oh man, he's so overrated, he's not funny at all... blaaaahdy blaaahdy blah."
First of all... most of the time these people are lying. I can recall 3 people off the top of my head who have given me this speech... and I know they like him, I've heard them quote him... so they're fucking, trendy faggots.
Secondly of all... where does the conversation go from there....
"Oh... I do."
The end?
Shut up.
I plan to go see a movie, I mention it to somebody and I have to hear somebody... "Oh you wanna see that, I think it looks awful."
Oh... I had better cancel my plans then...
Thanks for looking out bro.
No.
You're wrong.
I might be a hypocrite, I share my opinions on here, but... don't give a shit about others. Fuck them.
But I came up with a mentality that saves me from being a hypocrite.
A.) If you're reading this... you do think my opinion has some validity, or at least entertainment value... so it's the same as asking me "John, share your opinions and brilliance with me"
and
B.) I at least entertain with my opinions... other people are boring and stupid when they share theirs. So I have that going for me.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
No News is Good News: Pt 2... I am proved... SO right
As if the gods wanted to send me a message about my idea of no news being good news... or rather... relevant.
So yesterday one of our local newscasters died. Gary Papa, from prostate cancer.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be insensative or rude about the death of someone (although I do hate when people take the deaths of local or worldly famous people too hard) I mean, honestly... this guys been the sports guy for the local ABC station my whole life, and having recently lost a family member to cancer... I can understand some of difficulties of the situation. However... this isn't what I'm trying to talk about.
He died at about 2-3 in the afternoon... and the hour and a half news programming starts at five... after Oprah of course... because the people who needs to be "informed" are usually the same people who think Oprah is some kind of demi-god.
They presented no news... it was all dedicated to that mans loss.
They talked about him... interviewed locals about him... the cast and crew of the news shared their stories about him.
It's as if as soon as they realized he died... they took all the "news" they'd worked on all day... decided none of it was relevant... trashed it... and just shot the shit about their friend.
I have no problem that they wanted to respect and appreciate the memory of their friend... but it's as if they WANTED to PROVE to me that... honestly, we DON'T NEED to know any of the "news" they have to present.
I don't think they talked about anything other than him...
Oh... except the weather...
But no local crime, fire, school graduations, swine flu, celebrities... (sort of... Gary) I don't even think they did sports.
Thanks for the proof Gary, rest in peace... sorry you had to leave us.
That's all for today...
So yesterday one of our local newscasters died. Gary Papa, from prostate cancer.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be insensative or rude about the death of someone (although I do hate when people take the deaths of local or worldly famous people too hard) I mean, honestly... this guys been the sports guy for the local ABC station my whole life, and having recently lost a family member to cancer... I can understand some of difficulties of the situation. However... this isn't what I'm trying to talk about.
He died at about 2-3 in the afternoon... and the hour and a half news programming starts at five... after Oprah of course... because the people who needs to be "informed" are usually the same people who think Oprah is some kind of demi-god.
They presented no news... it was all dedicated to that mans loss.
They talked about him... interviewed locals about him... the cast and crew of the news shared their stories about him.
It's as if as soon as they realized he died... they took all the "news" they'd worked on all day... decided none of it was relevant... trashed it... and just shot the shit about their friend.
I have no problem that they wanted to respect and appreciate the memory of their friend... but it's as if they WANTED to PROVE to me that... honestly, we DON'T NEED to know any of the "news" they have to present.
I don't think they talked about anything other than him...
Oh... except the weather...
But no local crime, fire, school graduations, swine flu, celebrities... (sort of... Gary) I don't even think they did sports.
Thanks for the proof Gary, rest in peace... sorry you had to leave us.
That's all for today...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
No News is Good News
I feel like the news does a piss-poor job of actually informing me of anything...
Seriously? What is on the news... that I need to know about?
Every day at work people buy up all the newspapers, every night at home I have to vacate the living room to avoid the essential two hour news programming.
But it's all shit, what do we NEED to be informed of for 2 hours every day.
They have very little politics, and only a few minutes of weather... other than that it's all shit filler.
A fire across town is not news to me... anyone that gives a shit about that fire, (people in the neighborhood, friends and family of victims) will most likely know about it sooner than the news will inform them. So what do I need to know for? I don't.
Murders? Rapes? Violence? They caught the guy... I don't need to know. Let me know if the guys at large and I need to be scared... but if they caught him I don't care. If he murdered anyone I cared about... again I'll know before the news... I don't give a shit.
I feel like "The News" is more focused on reminding me how vulnerable and mortal I am... I guess that's what it's supposed to be informing me of.
And now the news includes celebrity gossip... not the celebrity gossip news... the REAL news is talking about the celebrity gossip. Honestly, I don't give a shit what famous person just adopted a foriegn baby. That's not news... that's... shit... steamy steaming shit. No one needs to be informed, these people aren't special. Don't publicize their dumb lives...
Really... when will people stop caring about celebrities.. they suck. Be in movies and tv shows, entertain me... that's your job... outside of that I don't give a shit. What other professions are there where people always want to know what you're doing? I don't give a fuck what my mailman does outside of his job... I wouldn't wanna hear about his baby... or know where he eats lunch. I don't give a shit... I just want my mail... and his job is to bring the mail.. .the end.
Oops... I got off topic, but yeah celebrity news is fucking useless.
Oh yeah... the news.
I remember over winter break when I was home I sat through an hour and a half of news discussing just the snow.
Apparently nothing else happened in the city or world that day because it snowed.
So for an hour and a half they just showed different areas of the city covered in snow, interviews with people about how they shoveled snow... and then some goofy on the scene news guy sledding... what the fuck?
You've informed me of nothing... it snowed... I looked outside and figured that out on my own.
I dislike shoveling... public polls don't need to remind me of this fact.
Fucking News...
Seriously? What is on the news... that I need to know about?
Every day at work people buy up all the newspapers, every night at home I have to vacate the living room to avoid the essential two hour news programming.
But it's all shit, what do we NEED to be informed of for 2 hours every day.
They have very little politics, and only a few minutes of weather... other than that it's all shit filler.
A fire across town is not news to me... anyone that gives a shit about that fire, (people in the neighborhood, friends and family of victims) will most likely know about it sooner than the news will inform them. So what do I need to know for? I don't.
Murders? Rapes? Violence? They caught the guy... I don't need to know. Let me know if the guys at large and I need to be scared... but if they caught him I don't care. If he murdered anyone I cared about... again I'll know before the news... I don't give a shit.
I feel like "The News" is more focused on reminding me how vulnerable and mortal I am... I guess that's what it's supposed to be informing me of.
And now the news includes celebrity gossip... not the celebrity gossip news... the REAL news is talking about the celebrity gossip. Honestly, I don't give a shit what famous person just adopted a foriegn baby. That's not news... that's... shit... steamy steaming shit. No one needs to be informed, these people aren't special. Don't publicize their dumb lives...
Really... when will people stop caring about celebrities.. they suck. Be in movies and tv shows, entertain me... that's your job... outside of that I don't give a shit. What other professions are there where people always want to know what you're doing? I don't give a fuck what my mailman does outside of his job... I wouldn't wanna hear about his baby... or know where he eats lunch. I don't give a shit... I just want my mail... and his job is to bring the mail.. .the end.
Oops... I got off topic, but yeah celebrity news is fucking useless.
Oh yeah... the news.
I remember over winter break when I was home I sat through an hour and a half of news discussing just the snow.
Apparently nothing else happened in the city or world that day because it snowed.
So for an hour and a half they just showed different areas of the city covered in snow, interviews with people about how they shoveled snow... and then some goofy on the scene news guy sledding... what the fuck?
You've informed me of nothing... it snowed... I looked outside and figured that out on my own.
I dislike shoveling... public polls don't need to remind me of this fact.
Fucking News...
Palin and Letterman... what a Bitch
Sarah Palin you cunt.
What a bad sport... how can the person who ran for vice president, and who claimed to be any kind of all American be so against a late night talk show host for making a joke against you and your family?
Really? He should be fired... well you should never have been hired.
What would have happened had you made it into office? Would every comedian, tv show and so on be banned after making you the butt of a joke?
That'd be quite the representation of the American politician.
Way to represent the American ideals...
Face it Palin... you are a punch-line... that's all you'll ever be from here on in.
You no good cunt.
Go back to Alaska and and fucking stay there.
Keep your overabundant offspring there as well twatsicle.
What a bad sport... how can the person who ran for vice president, and who claimed to be any kind of all American be so against a late night talk show host for making a joke against you and your family?
Really? He should be fired... well you should never have been hired.
What would have happened had you made it into office? Would every comedian, tv show and so on be banned after making you the butt of a joke?
That'd be quite the representation of the American politician.
Way to represent the American ideals...
Face it Palin... you are a punch-line... that's all you'll ever be from here on in.
You no good cunt.
Go back to Alaska and and fucking stay there.
Keep your overabundant offspring there as well twatsicle.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
