Stumbling around the internet... I found myself reading up on some Tim Burton, Alice In Wonderland action.
However, I stopped reading when one particular article started irking me terribly.
Here's what annoyed me...
- Tim Burton’s live action/stop-motion hybrid “Alice in Wonderland” is easily one of the most anticipated. To date, the enigmatic director has generated considerable buzz for an inspired casting roster that includes Johnny Depp, Helen Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Michael Sheen, Christopher Lee and, of course, Anne Hathaway. -
Hummm.... sure, Burton found some good actors but I feel like if you're going to use the word "inspired," you shouldn't include in your list at least four actors he's worked with before... and you certainly shouldn't start the list with his boyfriend and wife who are in EVERY one of his movies.
There's nothing inspired about about Burton choosing Depp or B-Carter...
That's like saying you woke up one day and were inspired to get dressed...
You weren't inspired to get dressed... it's daily routine, it's normal... just as normal as Burton pondering his movie plans and wondering, "now where does Johnny fit in..."
Guuuhhh...
That's what I get for reading something from an MTV hosted movie blog... groan...
Don't ask me how I wound up on mtv, you know... you just stumble and find something your interested in.
The funny thing is... the average people reading up on their movie news on MTV probably didn't even question the use of "inspired."
They probably just went with it... "Johnny Depp... I love him... he's so hot... if I knew anything I'd kill myself from self-pity."
Well, the movie still sounds entertaining... I just hate shitty blogs.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Every Survey You've Ever Read
1.) Who was the last male you talked to?
These are the kinds of questions that get down in dirty... last male I talked to... you really get to know a person that way. Or if you're a girl reading another girls survey... you know which boy she's trying to be with... watch out... it's Jeff and you've always liked Jeff... what a bitch.
2.) Who is someone that can always make you laugh?
what? no who is the last female you talked to? No need for consistency... just go with it. That person who can always make you laugh better be reading this... or else no one cares. If anything, maybe a friend of yours who thought it would be them for sure is now thoroughly disappointed.
3.) What were you doing at 10am this morning?
If you're cool you'll say sleeping... your life's chill... you can sleep and relax.
If you're stressed you can say class... or work...
no matter how you put it... it isn't really interesting at all
4.) What were you doing an hour ago?
if you did this survey at 11am... boy are you in for some redundancy...
if you say you were still on question one of this survey you're so dumb...
face it... if you're filling this out right now... you couldn't have been doing anything TOO exciting an hour ago
5.) Are you wearing anything on your feet?
Again... as deep as you can get.
This is how you can really learn who your friends are, do they go barefoot or with socks around the house?
Did they just get home... could they be wearing shoes or sandals
you can tell a lot about your friends based solely on their footwear.
6.) What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months?
3 months? I'm doing a survey... I have nothing to look forward to ever
7.) Do you remember your dreams?
No one ever does.... and when they do it's incoherent, broken up-Tarentino-esc bullshit.
The only people who have anything to say about this is mushy saps who say they dream about their significant other... and they're lying.
8.) Where did your last hug take place?
I don't give a shit about who you hugged, or what the circumstances of the hug were (family, friend, date) I just wanna know where it took place... because it's bound to be interesting. Oh in your living room? you are fucking fascinating... I am so interested in your deep ass survey
9.) Have you been to a baby shower?
who gives a shit, this question sucks...
10.) What cell phone company do you use?
- insert witty joke about your self phone company and either how bad the service is, or reference a commercials - congratulations, you just grew a personality.
11.) What color is your hair brush?
A question worthy of the toilet. This survey is definitely meant solely as a time filler, it's like a little scavenger hunt around your house... you run to where you keep your comb; bedroom, bathroom, comb closet... and then report back to your computer to type in your findings.
12.) Do you watch the Super Bowl?
Yea I love sports because I am socially popular and generally like things that are generally liked!
13.) What about World Cup?
What's that... better wikipedia that so I can honestly respond by saying yes and referencing what sport it is.
14.) What about the world series?
On MAN!!! Phinally Pthe Phillies Phucking One It! I use PH's to express how big of a fan I am... because it can't properly be expressed with F's! I didn't even know PH could make an F sound with the exception of Philadelphia!
15.) Do you sleep with a teddy bear?
Who cares...
16.)What is the last movie you watched?
type a funny or popular movie here... it's not actually the last movie you watched... just something you put to catch someone's attention in hopes they will respond... or secretly feel more connected to you because they like it too
17.) What movie do you think everyone should watch?
Here you'll type a movie that seems deep, so you can seem like a deep and thoughtful person
but really you just want to type death race.
18.)What is your middle name?
irrelevant... no one will ever care.
19.) Do you have your future children's names picked out?
type one for girl/boy... hope someone of the opposite gender sees and responds... and congratulations, you've just met your soul mate... thanks myspace!
20.) Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
I hope it collapses next time you use it survey creator
21.)What brand is your computer printer?
again... back to the scavenger hunt b/s.... this question is the pits.
22.)Who was your Kindergarden teacher?
Wow, can't remember her name... but I can insert an ancient inside joke from my longest time best friend lololololol
23.) Are you taller than your mom?
who cares
24.) Do you have any bruises right now?
Insert interesting story about how you got your bruise - emphasize how much your life sucks if it happened at work, how athletic you are if you were playing sports, or how stupid you are if it's from a significant other.
25.) Are you cold right now?
someone I'm attracted to should definitely come cuddle with me.
26.)Do any of your close friends have kids?
they can do whatever they want who gives a shit
27.)Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
see above
28.)What is the closest red object to you?
I wish it was blood from your face. Look around the room, be aware of your surroundings... oh man! so interesting!
29.) What is your favorite video game?
Sports Game or Grand Theft Auto... if it's neither of those, no one will care so you won't even bother.
30.) Do you play games on your cell phone?
Actually... lacking a comment for this one... damn.
31.) Do you look more the your mom or dad?
make it seem like you care about your parents as more than just money/food supplying objects. Fooled you... everyone!
32.) Have you ever broken an pinata?
Actually this is a funny story, but no... this question is bullshit.
33.)Do you have an iPod or Mp3 player?
Same shit, who cares we all listen to music
34.)If someone doesnt like you its probably because:
Person fails to find any flaw of their own and blames it entirely on that person... maybe something is wrong with them.
35.) Who was the last person in your bedroom?
Insert boy or girl to cause some draaaama. Or a family member... because you're boring.
36.) What are your plans for this weekend:
insert something fun to make people jealous or make yourself seem popular
or type nothing in hopes someone will read it and send out an offer.
37.) Have you ever crawled through a window?
funny story or no... either way, you're still not interesting
38.)Do you lose your keys often?
no or funny story... again... boring
39.)When was your last encounter with the police?
Either A. Reference how smooth you are for staying out of trouble
or B.) talk about your last issue with the police, mentioning of course... how alcohol or pot were involved and how cool you are for being in an alcohol/pot environment.
40.) Do you always wear your seatbelt in the car?
awful question, uninteresting... there go 40 questions, 20 minutes of my life... ef this
These are the kinds of questions that get down in dirty... last male I talked to... you really get to know a person that way. Or if you're a girl reading another girls survey... you know which boy she's trying to be with... watch out... it's Jeff and you've always liked Jeff... what a bitch.
2.) Who is someo
what? no who is the last female you talked to? No need for consistency... just go with it. That person who can always make you laugh better be reading this... or else no one cares. If anything, maybe a friend of yours who thought it would be them for sure is now thoroughly disappointed.
3.) What were you doing
If you're cool you'll say sleeping... your life's chill... you can sleep and relax.
If you're stressed you can say class... or work...
no matter how you put it... it isn't really interesting at all
4.) What were you doing
if you did this survey at 11am... boy are you in for some redundancy...
if you say you were still on question one of this survey you're so dumb...
face it... if you're filling this out right now... you couldn't have been doing anything TOO exciting an hour ago
5.) Are you weari
Again... as deep as you can get.
This is how you can really learn who your friends are, do they go barefoot or with socks around the house?
Did they just get home... could they be wearing shoes or sandals
you can tell a lot about your friends based solely on their footwear.
6.) What are you looki
3 months? I'm doing a survey... I have nothing to look forward to ever
7.) Do you remem
No one ever does.... and when they do it's incoherent, broken up-Tarentino-esc bullshit.
The only people who have anything to say about this is mushy saps who say they dream about their significant other... and they're lying.
8.) Where
I don't give a shit about who you hugged, or what the circumstances of the hug were (family, friend, date) I just wanna know where it took place... because it's bound to be interesting. Oh in your living room? you are fucking fascinating... I am so interested in your deep ass survey
9.) Have you been to a baby showe
who gives a shit, this question sucks...
10.) What cell phone
- insert witty joke about your self phone company and either how bad the service is, or reference a commercials - congratulations, you just grew a personality.
11.) What color
A question worthy of the toilet. This survey is definitely meant solely as a time filler, it's like a little scavenger hunt around your house... you run to where you keep your comb; bedroom, bathroom, comb closet... and then report back to your computer to type in your findings.
12.) Do you watch
Yea I love sports because I am socially popular and generally like things that are generally liked!
13.) What about
What's that... better wikipedia that so I can honestly respond by saying yes and referencing what sport it is.
14.) What about
On MAN!!! Phinally Pthe Phillies Phucking One It! I use PH's to express how big of a fan I am... because it can't properly be expressed with F's! I didn't even know PH could make an F sound with the exception of Philadelphia!
15.) Do you sleep
Who cares...
16.)What is the last movie
type a funny or popular movie here... it's not actually the last movie you watched... just something you put to catch someone's attention in hopes they will respond... or secretly feel more connected to you because they like it too
17.) What movie
Here you'll type a movie that seems deep, so you can seem like a deep and thoughtful person
but really you just want to type death race.
18.)What is your middl
irrelevant... no one will ever care.
19.) Do you have your futur
type one for girl/boy... hope someone of the opposite gender sees and responds... and congratulations, you've just met your soul mate... thanks myspace!
20.) Do you have to drive
I hope it collapses next time you use it survey creator
21.)What brand
again... back to the scavenger hunt b/s.... this question is the pits.
22.)Who was your Kinde
Wow, can't remember her name... but I can insert an ancient inside joke from my longest time best friend lololololol
23.) Are you talle
who cares
24.) Do you have any bruis
Insert interesting story about how you got your bruise - emphasize how much your life sucks if it happened at work, how athletic you are if you were playing sports, or how stupid you are if it's from a significant other.
25.) Are you cold right
someone I'm attracted to should definitely come cuddle with me.
26.)Do any of your close
they can do whatever they want who gives a shit
27.)Do you know anyon
see above
28.)What is the close
I wish it was blood from your face. Look around the room, be aware of your surroundings... oh man! so interesting!
29.) What is your favor
Sports Game or Grand Theft Auto... if it's neither of those, no one will care so you won't even bother.
30.) Do you play games
Actually... lacking a comment for this one... damn.
31.) Do you look more the your mom or dad?
make it seem like you care about your parents as more than just money/food supplying objects. Fooled you... everyone!
32.) Have you ever broke
Actually this is a funny story, but no... this question is bullshit.
33.)Do you have an iPod or Mp3 playe
Same shit, who cares we all listen to music
34.)If someo
Person fails to find any flaw of their own and blames it entirely on that person... maybe something is wrong with them.
35.) Who was the last perso
Insert boy or girl to cause some draaaama. Or a family member... because you're boring.
36.) What are your plans
insert something fun to make people jealous or make yourself seem popular
or type nothing in hopes someone will read it and send out an offer.
37.) Have you ever crawl
funny story or no... either way, you're still not interesting
38.)Do you lose your keys often
no or funny story... again... boring
39.)When was your last encou
Either A. Reference how smooth you are for staying out of trouble
or B.) talk about your last issue with the police, mentioning of course... how alcohol or pot were involved and how cool you are for being in an alcohol/pot environment.
40.) Do you alway
awful question, uninteresting... there go 40 questions, 20 minutes of my life... ef this
Monday, December 15, 2008
Your Tattoo is Stupid...
I've realized throughout my life... that there are some things people talk to me about... that I will never truly give a shit about.
It can't be helped... people just think some aspect of their life is so interesting that other people care... so they tell others about it... but nobody wants to hear it.
Here's a list of a few things people tell me that I will never care about.
Your Heritage - This is my number one! the biggest fucking nuisance that people think others care about. I hate listening to people tick off percentages and fractions that have no meaning... someone told me once that they were an 11th jewish... what does that even mean? you're probably an 11th jewish and 10-11th's uninteresting douche-bag. Your numbers and "nationalities" have no meaning at all... you were born in America, your parents were born in America... you're American... you're a boring, white American kid. Then some people think they have like... unique heritages... like "I've actually got (some random American Indian tribe) in me... "oh wow, you're so complex, magical and natural you've got a useless fraction of Native American in you. Like I'm really interested in the fact that some distant relative of yours raped some helpless young Indian girl.... and was willing to keep the rape child in the family.... you're so interesting.
Here is what I hear whenever someone tells me about their heritage - "I have ancestors that were from places..."
You know who else has ancestors who were from places?
I'm sure you can figure it out...
Everyone, with maybe the exception of test tube babies... has ancestors... from places.
aaannnd the test tube babies have a much more interesting origin story than any of you.
Your Tattoos - I hate nitwits that talk about their tattoos like they have any kind of deep and significant meaning. They don't. People claim to get tattoos for themselves, yet they get them in obvious areas where people notice and ask about them... and then they have a story about it... yeah I'm sure you got it just for yourself. You just got it because it's quicker than developing a personality. And they never have any real meaning behind them either... lets take my sister's friend for example, who was blah-bragging about her stupid tattoo of Marilyn Monroe... she said something along the lines of how she got it "to commemorate and remember her grandmom." Oh wow... you're so caring, and deep and interesting... chances are she never had more than a 5 minute conversation with her grandmother. And if she had, she probably would've realized that her grandmother and most of her grandmother's generation would be petrified and disgusted by tattoos... chances are, her grandmother died when she tried to tell about getting this travesty of a tattoo... so then she said it was for it.
Whatever, your tattoo is stupid, it has no real meaning... just like your shitty existence... I hope it gets seared off in a terrible ironing accident.
Your Sex Life - Sometimes people I know, think I give a shit about their sex lives... now, don't get me wrong... horror and humor stories I LOVE to hear... when something goes terribly or hilariously wrong during sex... I'm down to listen... but when you just think I wanna hear who you've had sex with, or where you've had sex, or how many people you've banged... I have absolutely no desire to hear about it. Why would I care? I care so little about people's sex lives... I can't even continue to elaborate on how little I care... I just don't give a shit... when you fuck someone famous let me know... but until then... don't give a shit, there is nothing noteworthy or interesting about your love life. You know what... how about... from now on, whenever someone tells me about their sex life, I'm just going to assume they're coming onto me...
Brain Fart... I will finish this another time... because I know I have more to say.
It can't be helped... people just think some aspect of their life is so interesting that other people care... so they tell others about it... but nobody wants to hear it.
Here's a list of a few things people tell me that I will never care about.
Your Heritage - This is my number one! the biggest fucking nuisance that people think others care about. I hate listening to people tick off percentages and fractions that have no meaning... someone told me once that they were an 11th jewish... what does that even mean? you're probably an 11th jewish and 10-11th's uninteresting douche-bag. Your numbers and "nationalities" have no meaning at all... you were born in America, your parents were born in America... you're American... you're a boring, white American kid. Then some people think they have like... unique heritages... like "I've actually got (some random American Indian tribe) in me... "oh wow, you're so complex, magical and natural you've got a useless fraction of Native American in you. Like I'm really interested in the fact that some distant relative of yours raped some helpless young Indian girl.... and was willing to keep the rape child in the family.... you're so interesting.
Here is what I hear whenever someone tells me about their heritage - "I have ancestors that were from places..."
You know who else has ancestors who were from places?
I'm sure you can figure it out...
Everyone, with maybe the exception of test tube babies... has ancestors... from places.
aaannnd the test tube babies have a much more interesting origin story than any of you.
Your Tattoos - I hate nitwits that talk about their tattoos like they have any kind of deep and significant meaning. They don't. People claim to get tattoos for themselves, yet they get them in obvious areas where people notice and ask about them... and then they have a story about it... yeah I'm sure you got it just for yourself. You just got it because it's quicker than developing a personality. And they never have any real meaning behind them either... lets take my sister's friend for example, who was blah-bragging about her stupid tattoo of Marilyn Monroe... she said something along the lines of how she got it "to commemorate and remember her grandmom." Oh wow... you're so caring, and deep and interesting... chances are she never had more than a 5 minute conversation with her grandmother. And if she had, she probably would've realized that her grandmother and most of her grandmother's generation would be petrified and disgusted by tattoos... chances are, her grandmother died when she tried to tell about getting this travesty of a tattoo... so then she said it was for it.
Whatever, your tattoo is stupid, it has no real meaning... just like your shitty existence... I hope it gets seared off in a terrible ironing accident.
Your Sex Life - Sometimes people I know, think I give a shit about their sex lives... now, don't get me wrong... horror and humor stories I LOVE to hear... when something goes terribly or hilariously wrong during sex... I'm down to listen... but when you just think I wanna hear who you've had sex with, or where you've had sex, or how many people you've banged... I have absolutely no desire to hear about it. Why would I care? I care so little about people's sex lives... I can't even continue to elaborate on how little I care... I just don't give a shit... when you fuck someone famous let me know... but until then... don't give a shit, there is nothing noteworthy or interesting about your love life. You know what... how about... from now on, whenever someone tells me about their sex life, I'm just going to assume they're coming onto me...
Brain Fart... I will finish this another time... because I know I have more to say.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Too Mad To Come Up With Witty Title
Yesterday I hung out with my cousin who I haven't seen for about 5 months.
It stinks, we're really good pals who have a lot in common but we never really get to hang out.
So I did what every friend does when he hasn't seen one of his best friends in a while does... I went to work with him.
Haha, random stupid story... but I want to get to the real point.
to pass the time while he did actual work, I had to read the Celebrity Rags around his office...
And god are those things awful...
Allow me to elaborate on my hatred of famous people, the media, and the shitty people who respond to this bullshit medium.
One article had to do with Tara Reid... and how she's been going through life, "horribly disfigured" from her botched plastic surgery. This article got all intimate and deep with her about how she's trying to live with her scars, and how difficult it's been for her to get work.
You know what, I don't really have too much sympathy for the victims of bad plastic surgery.
This perfectly pretty woman, decided she wasn't happy with the thought of millions of American Men cranking it to her photos in Maxim, and her attractiveness in movies. Also, her huge movie star pay checks weren't enough to make her feel any better... so she had to go, and try to get surgery to make herself look and feel better.
Great... great idea.
I have no sympathy for your fucked up boob job.
If anything, it should be a felony to ruin such respectable breasts... what a fool.
Then she goes and gets shitty work done on her stomach...
all 105 lbs of her worrying how her stomach looks.
Like she can't get a personal trainer, or work out every day... you know how hard the celebrity work year is... working 90 days a year with millions to show for it.
So then her stomach surgery goes awry and she has these weird fucking scars on her chest.
But I have no sympathy for her... no one should. Fuck her...
She let the shitty media get to her, she went nuts... she tried to improve on her already perfectly fine body, it was ruined... good, I think we all learned a lesson.
There should be no sympathy... fuck her, get over it.
Then there's this other broad, who's name I didn't bother to learn cause I don't really know her from anything. She was in Dream Girls, apparently won an Oscar, and recently a few members of her family were murdered.
And all these magazines are talking about... "how she's coping," "what shes going through..." blah blah blah....
I mean, yes violent crime, murder are HORRIBLE things, but guess what... she's not the only victim of violent crime in this country. Since you've covered this story for the past 4 months, how many other families have been destroyed due to violence like this?
I honestly don't care how she's coping... I wanna hear from the low income families, that are literally devastated and destroyed due to violent crime.
Where the kids go into crime and drugs cause they can't cope and they don't have proper guardianship... and no one can afford to take care of them.
Fucking dumb celebrities, crying for my sympathy.
Then Oprah is mentioned as lending her support.
Oh thank goodness Oprah, you always save the day... with your throwing money and care into the direction of someone already getting money and care, and giving so much to people... yeah... your whole audience really needs new cars, that money used to get those cars definitely couldn't have gone into who knows how much food for less fortunate, or who knows how much it could have renovated a homeless shelter.
How charitable of you...
Then of course EVERY fucking magazine has to go into depth about the love triangle of Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Anniston. Like i give a fuck how many foreign children Jolie is adopting, and how hard Anniston is trying to find a man to replace Brad. Fuck these people... I don't give a shit... at all...
One magazine had a poll "Do you approve of Jennifer Anniston's Dating John Mayer?"
62% said no, 37% said yes, and 1% said, " I don't even know these people they're rich assholes why would I even give a fuck?"
I was obviously part of the last 1% which I made up.
Is that really a poll? who are these people really checking these websites and responding.
"John Mayer is totally not for Jennifer...gabba gabba heyyy."
You people need real friends, hobbies, and interests....
And if you're wondering why, since I hate these magazines and celebrities so much... would I even bother to look at them?
Obviously because I knew they'd piss me off to the point that I'd make a blog entry.
It stinks, we're really good pals who have a lot in common but we never really get to hang out.
So I did what every friend does when he hasn't seen one of his best friends in a while does... I went to work with him.
Haha, random stupid story... but I want to get to the real point.
to pass the time while he did actual work, I had to read the Celebrity Rags around his office...
And god are those things awful...
Allow me to elaborate on my hatred of famous people, the media, and the shitty people who respond to this bullshit medium.
One article had to do with Tara Reid... and how she's been going through life, "horribly disfigured" from her botched plastic surgery. This article got all intimate and deep with her about how she's trying to live with her scars, and how difficult it's been for her to get work.
You know what, I don't really have too much sympathy for the victims of bad plastic surgery.
This perfectly pretty woman, decided she wasn't happy with the thought of millions of American Men cranking it to her photos in Maxim, and her attractiveness in movies. Also, her huge movie star pay checks weren't enough to make her feel any better... so she had to go, and try to get surgery to make herself look and feel better.
Great... great idea.
I have no sympathy for your fucked up boob job.
If anything, it should be a felony to ruin such respectable breasts... what a fool.
Then she goes and gets shitty work done on her stomach...
all 105 lbs of her worrying how her stomach looks.
Like she can't get a personal trainer, or work out every day... you know how hard the celebrity work year is... working 90 days a year with millions to show for it.
So then her stomach surgery goes awry and she has these weird fucking scars on her chest.
But I have no sympathy for her... no one should. Fuck her...
She let the shitty media get to her, she went nuts... she tried to improve on her already perfectly fine body, it was ruined... good, I think we all learned a lesson.
There should be no sympathy... fuck her, get over it.
Then there's this other broad, who's name I didn't bother to learn cause I don't really know her from anything. She was in Dream Girls, apparently won an Oscar, and recently a few members of her family were murdered.
And all these magazines are talking about... "how she's coping," "what shes going through..." blah blah blah....
I mean, yes violent crime, murder are HORRIBLE things, but guess what... she's not the only victim of violent crime in this country. Since you've covered this story for the past 4 months, how many other families have been destroyed due to violence like this?
I honestly don't care how she's coping... I wanna hear from the low income families, that are literally devastated and destroyed due to violent crime.
Where the kids go into crime and drugs cause they can't cope and they don't have proper guardianship... and no one can afford to take care of them.
Fucking dumb celebrities, crying for my sympathy.
Then Oprah is mentioned as lending her support.
Oh thank goodness Oprah, you always save the day... with your throwing money and care into the direction of someone already getting money and care, and giving so much to people... yeah... your whole audience really needs new cars, that money used to get those cars definitely couldn't have gone into who knows how much food for less fortunate, or who knows how much it could have renovated a homeless shelter.
How charitable of you...
Then of course EVERY fucking magazine has to go into depth about the love triangle of Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Anniston. Like i give a fuck how many foreign children Jolie is adopting, and how hard Anniston is trying to find a man to replace Brad. Fuck these people... I don't give a shit... at all...
One magazine had a poll "Do you approve of Jennifer Anniston's Dating John Mayer?"
62% said no, 37% said yes, and 1% said, " I don't even know these people they're rich assholes why would I even give a fuck?"
I was obviously part of the last 1% which I made up.
Is that really a poll? who are these people really checking these websites and responding.
"John Mayer is totally not for Jennifer...gabba gabba heyyy."
You people need real friends, hobbies, and interests....
And if you're wondering why, since I hate these magazines and celebrities so much... would I even bother to look at them?
Obviously because I knew they'd piss me off to the point that I'd make a blog entry.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Proposition 8 My Ass
Is gay marriage really a political issue?
It's one person marrying another person...
It's not polygamy.
It's not people marrying animals, food or objects.
It's one individual... marrying another individual.
Who cares what the church says... if they don't like it, then who cares... don't let gays marry in a church or by a priest. I'm sure they'll live with it... the church already doesn't like them, I'm sure they won't be offended by them not viewing their marriage as legit.
But State? Government... are you really gonna deny a one on one person marriage?
There's no excuse to not do it.
None.
It's one person marrying another person...
It's not polygamy.
It's not people marrying animals, food or objects.
It's one individual... marrying another individual.
Who cares what the church says... if they don't like it, then who cares... don't let gays marry in a church or by a priest. I'm sure they'll live with it... the church already doesn't like them, I'm sure they won't be offended by them not viewing their marriage as legit.
But State? Government... are you really gonna deny a one on one person marriage?
There's no excuse to not do it.
None.
I Hate Couples
So yesterday, I walk out of my class and directly in front of me in the hallway is this couple, deeply and passionately making out.
Just... gross, and inappropriate... and to me, a little pathetic.
Basically I hate couples.
Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I'm squeamish about public displays of affection... I just think, that the hallway of an education building, isn't the kind of place to have your tongues shoved down each others throat.
Why? For what reason do you need to make out here in such a fashion?
"Oh baby, come on... kiss me I have to go to class and I won't get to see you for 50 minutes... 50 dreadful, unbearable minutes"
Ohhh man, how hard that'll be to get through.
Seriously, if I witnessed this same make out session at an airport, where one of them had just walked off a plane after being in Europe for 3 months, and while in Europe they almost cheated on their significant other with some kinky European, but then before they did the deed they realized that their special one back home was the only one for them so they stopped... and so this homecoming is really emotional.
I'd totally understand, it would be adorable to me... I'd photograph or film it for them, would retell the story in enthusiasm, it'd be fantastic.
But really, here in this situation... they're just overly-physical, mushy douche bags.
Couples are the WORST.
I hate when you're around those couples that just need to be touching all the time.
For whatever reason... maybe when they aren't physically linked in some way they weaken. Who knows...
Or the couples that always have to come in a complete package.
You can't do something with just the one of them, they need to be together...
Or people, who need to like get permission to go out and do something...
"Oh... what's that honey, I can't do anything if you can't... alright that sounds reasonable... sorry guys I can't go out because my girlfriend has work and it's not fair for me to have fun while she works..."
Sounds healthy.
Ugh...
Another thing I can never stand is when a guy will never shut up about how great his girlfriend is, and how everyone needs to meet her.
That's so gay... listening to him, "You guys... you have to meet her she's so great."
Chances are, if she was as great as you claim her to be, you'd have more competition for her... and probably wouldn't have her at all.
You're probably the only person who thinks she's great... we don't care, we don't even wanna meet her, if you didn't coerce her into hanging out with us we'd never see her... and it'd be no loss.
Then she comes to hang out, and everyone is let down because she's not great at all. She doesn't say anything... or she like gets mad at you or your friends for poor behavior or offensive jokes... and you guys get in a fight about it later.
Now both of you look like assholes, because she's not great at all... not even a little, and you... just look like an overly-attached douche.
You know who has the best girlfriends, the guy who... you're not even sure is dating anyone. He just randomly shows up with his girl and everyone's like "I didn't even know, did you know..."
She's usually really cool and laid back, and everyone generally likes her and finds her to be a very agreeable person.
But... as I was saying.
Don't do these things people...
Don't be in a mushy douchey unbearable couple...
Make out in private.
Spend time apart.
And ALWAYS be aware that no one outside your relationship really gives a shit about it (Except maybe your parents or offspring).
Just... gross, and inappropriate... and to me, a little pathetic.
Basically I hate couples.
Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I'm squeamish about public displays of affection... I just think, that the hallway of an education building, isn't the kind of place to have your tongues shoved down each others throat.
Why? For what reason do you need to make out here in such a fashion?
"Oh baby, come on... kiss me I have to go to class and I won't get to see you for 50 minutes... 50 dreadful, unbearable minutes"
Ohhh man, how hard that'll be to get through.
Seriously, if I witnessed this same make out session at an airport, where one of them had just walked off a plane after being in Europe for 3 months, and while in Europe they almost cheated on their significant other with some kinky European, but then before they did the deed they realized that their special one back home was the only one for them so they stopped... and so this homecoming is really emotional.
I'd totally understand, it would be adorable to me... I'd photograph or film it for them, would retell the story in enthusiasm, it'd be fantastic.
But really, here in this situation... they're just overly-physical, mushy douche bags.
Couples are the WORST.
I hate when you're around those couples that just need to be touching all the time.
For whatever reason... maybe when they aren't physically linked in some way they weaken. Who knows...
Or the couples that always have to come in a complete package.
You can't do something with just the one of them, they need to be together...
Or people, who need to like get permission to go out and do something...
"Oh... what's that honey, I can't do anything if you can't... alright that sounds reasonable... sorry guys I can't go out because my girlfriend has work and it's not fair for me to have fun while she works..."
Sounds healthy.
Ugh...
Another thing I can never stand is when a guy will never shut up about how great his girlfriend is, and how everyone needs to meet her.
That's so gay... listening to him, "You guys... you have to meet her she's so great."
Chances are, if she was as great as you claim her to be, you'd have more competition for her... and probably wouldn't have her at all.
You're probably the only person who thinks she's great... we don't care, we don't even wanna meet her, if you didn't coerce her into hanging out with us we'd never see her... and it'd be no loss.
Then she comes to hang out, and everyone is let down because she's not great at all. She doesn't say anything... or she like gets mad at you or your friends for poor behavior or offensive jokes... and you guys get in a fight about it later.
Now both of you look like assholes, because she's not great at all... not even a little, and you... just look like an overly-attached douche.
You know who has the best girlfriends, the guy who... you're not even sure is dating anyone. He just randomly shows up with his girl and everyone's like "I didn't even know, did you know..."
She's usually really cool and laid back, and everyone generally likes her and finds her to be a very agreeable person.
But... as I was saying.
Don't do these things people...
Don't be in a mushy douchey unbearable couple...
Make out in private.
Spend time apart.
And ALWAYS be aware that no one outside your relationship really gives a shit about it (Except maybe your parents or offspring).
Friday, November 14, 2008
Facebook This
Today at about 10:30 in the morning, I was at the library because I needed to finish a paper for my noon o'clock class. But... I figure I walked around the library for about 20 minutes looking for a computer...
I found one, and then it wouldn't log me in, so that was frustrating...
and then there were a few I was getting ready to pounce on because I saw body language which suggested to me that the person was getting ready to get up... but I was wrong, twice... so that sucked.
Finally, I was lucky enough to be walking by a computer as a girl was finishing up, and she told me she'd be done in a minute so that was nice of her... I finally got a computer.
During my hour of schoolwork however, I noticed two girls a few computers down from me were just sitting at their individual computers, both on facebook.... both sending text messages and chattering amongst themselves.
And I started to think.... "What, the fuck...."
11am on Tuesdays and Thursdays is probably one of the busiest times at the library, there are no classes being held... and a lot of people have shit to do.
A lot of people are blatantly walking around looking for computers they need... to do work.
And these fucking inconsiderate slobs are sitting their on facebook... scrolling through people's pictures and leaving comments for all their besties.
"OMG I'm at the liberry, soooooo bored lolololol."
Fuuuuuucckkkkkk that.
Are you people really so self-concerned and oblivious of your surroundings that you'll sit at computer for an hour, with nothing to do... and just find useless shit to do on facebook?
Like... it's one thing if you're at the library for a few hours, and you go on the face for a minute, you know... give your brain a break, I've done it... we all do once in a while, just a minute of mental relaxation.
But EVERY time during this hour when I looked over, these girls were still on facebook! Every fucking time!
That's two computers going to waste...
That's at least two people who couldn't finish typing up or printing up a paper because these nitwits had to comment on so'and'so's latest album
"OMG!!! I did that last nite, i was soooo druuunkk lololol"
you useless fuck.
Fucking computers, they limited our paper usage because students apparently weren't responsible or smart enough to print things conservatively, who knows what shitty nonsense people were printing up and not using and wasting.
Now supposedly the lab in Lytle, the building I have all of my English classes in, is only accessible to math majors... that's great, last time I was in there those O-so busy math majors were hunched together in the back row of computers playing world of warcraft.
It's okay, I didn't have anything important to do on the computer... just registering for classes... not nearly as important as the latest raid.
Whatever, fuck them...
But, since they can limit how much people print on the computers, and can even limit which majors can use specific labs...
I don't see why we can't get an anti-facebook app on there.
After so many minutes on facebook, a boot just comes out of the screen and kicks you in the face...
sounds awesome
because I know every fucking time I'm walking through the library in desperate need to do work or print something... I want to kick every slob on facebook in the back of the head.
I found one, and then it wouldn't log me in, so that was frustrating...
and then there were a few I was getting ready to pounce on because I saw body language which suggested to me that the person was getting ready to get up... but I was wrong, twice... so that sucked.
Finally, I was lucky enough to be walking by a computer as a girl was finishing up, and she told me she'd be done in a minute so that was nice of her... I finally got a computer.
During my hour of schoolwork however, I noticed two girls a few computers down from me were just sitting at their individual computers, both on facebook.... both sending text messages and chattering amongst themselves.
And I started to think.... "What, the fuck...."
11am on Tuesdays and Thursdays is probably one of the busiest times at the library, there are no classes being held... and a lot of people have shit to do.
A lot of people are blatantly walking around looking for computers they need... to do work.
And these fucking inconsiderate slobs are sitting their on facebook... scrolling through people's pictures and leaving comments for all their besties.
"OMG I'm at the liberry, soooooo bored lolololol."
Fuuuuuucckkkkkk that.
Are you people really so self-concerned and oblivious of your surroundings that you'll sit at computer for an hour, with nothing to do... and just find useless shit to do on facebook?
Like... it's one thing if you're at the library for a few hours, and you go on the face for a minute, you know... give your brain a break, I've done it... we all do once in a while, just a minute of mental relaxation.
But EVERY time during this hour when I looked over, these girls were still on facebook! Every fucking time!
That's two computers going to waste...
That's at least two people who couldn't finish typing up or printing up a paper because these nitwits had to comment on so'and'so's latest album
"OMG!!! I did that last nite, i was soooo druuunkk lololol"
you useless fuck.
Fucking computers, they limited our paper usage because students apparently weren't responsible or smart enough to print things conservatively, who knows what shitty nonsense people were printing up and not using and wasting.
Now supposedly the lab in Lytle, the building I have all of my English classes in, is only accessible to math majors... that's great, last time I was in there those O-so busy math majors were hunched together in the back row of computers playing world of warcraft.
It's okay, I didn't have anything important to do on the computer... just registering for classes... not nearly as important as the latest raid.
Whatever, fuck them...
But, since they can limit how much people print on the computers, and can even limit which majors can use specific labs...
I don't see why we can't get an anti-facebook app on there.
After so many minutes on facebook, a boot just comes out of the screen and kicks you in the face...
sounds awesome
because I know every fucking time I'm walking through the library in desperate need to do work or print something... I want to kick every slob on facebook in the back of the head.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
