Eve.
That's why.
Woman ruined everything. We had a huge,peaceful, glorious garden. Everybody was naked all the time and fine with it.Then Eve had to go and get tempted, fall for it and ruin everything.And that's my society is tilted the way it is, because it should be.
Why should a chick get paid the same as me? She ate the fruit. She fell for the snake's bullshit. How do you fall for that! "Oh, you seem to have everything, but not quite. Check out those apples over there, you should go try one. Fuck what God said."
Apples aren't even that good, and I'm sure there weren't any other apple trees in the garden? I'm sure. Right...
But yeah! Typical woman, not satisfied with what she already has. Always needs more.
"Oh there's an apple I can't have. Suddenly I want it so badly even though there's plenty more to eat and enjoy in this garden!"
And this bullshit continues even today.
"Oh why stay at home and cook and clean, raise and spend time with my children and pursue hobbies and interests throughout all of my down time during the day when I could work in an office full time and accuse men of sexual harassment in hopes of getting them fired."
Of course The Garden of Eden is just a myth from the Bible. However I have no doubt that it's a metaphor for actual events.
Maybe, way back when, when people were becoming people, the men would go out hunting and the women would take care of the children and gather up various snacks and treats. But the women weren't satisfied.
They got bored. So what do they do? They made the men pursue other things.
Thus nagging was born...
"Honey, don't go hunting, build me a shelter instead and when you're done that, start farming I'm sick of wandering around looking for food and shit. And after that, go to war with other people I don't want anyone else to be better off than we are."
Sounds like it makes sense...
So:
The temptation of Eve parallels women coming up with the idea to ask for more, that they didn't need.
Then, having Adam bite the apple also lines up with the nagging him to accommodate her demands.
Finally, the apple being eaten creating an awareness of nakedness, good, evil... etc is women demanding more: homes, clothes, jewelry, and eventually war to keep other women from having better homes, clothes or jewelry.
Women should have been happy with what they had.
Being asked to take care of a home, and raise and produce children.
Does it take ALL day to keep up with chores around the house? Honestly, if you're home every day doing chores there can't be that much to do, how dirty could it get?
Shit, if I could stay home all day, while my wife earns a living, that'd be the shit.
I'd keep up with my chores, be able to hang out with my kids all the time. We could play video games, watch movies and take naps all afternoon. Then my wife would come home, too exhausted to spend any time with me or treat me like a person and she would just want me for sex. That'd be great!
Why did women give that up?
How were you dissatisfied with this lifestyle?
Shit, if anything, because women are ultimately responsible for the loss of Paradise, they should be the ones who have to work and support the family.
You owe it to us... the first woman/women fucked everything up.
The only thing men ever did wrong was try to please you.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
The Dark Knight didn't get nominated for best picture!
Okay, so I'm not actually worried about it... since I don't give a shit about Academy Awards, and I'm not one of those people who's constantly raving about how Dark Knight is the best movie, past, present, future, ever....
But I do have feelings on the topic.
...Negative Ones...
(otherwise this would not be blog worthy)
First, I don't see why exactly it didn't get nominated I mean, it got 8 other nominations... and every person and their mother saw it this past summer and declared it was the best movie they've ever seen... so why not let it be included in the best movies of the year right?
And it's not as if it was just some superhero action flick... it had a lot of thought and depth put into it (that people claimed to love... to seem even more included in the trend of loving it, but you know for the most part they didn't think about or get it). It had good actors/characters... it was more of a crime thriller than a hero/action movie... and the academy usually loves well done crime thrillers (The Departed, No Country for Old Men...).
However... I do understand other things.
I understand that the Academy is most likely a bunch of pretentious elitist assholes who consider any movie that can be so widely loved by the masses... not worthy of such a noble award.
I also realize the movies not perfect... I NEED more fans of this movie to just fucking agree with me that their throat hurts whenever they hear Christian Bale deliver a line as Batman. That the movie could afford a little bit of a cut down... and that, well as good as Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker was, people should not be lined up around his tomb in an effort to blow his dead body for a job well done.
I'm sorry guy at concert who had a tattoo of the Ledger Joker... but you are a douche bag... and as I've said before... your tattoo, resembles you so well by suggesting that you are a friendless tool.
But lets agree it's a really good movie, they put a lot of thought and effort into it.. and it payed off. Batman fans and non-fans all thoroughly enjoyed it. It deserves credit.
However... that's not my argument for why the movie should be nominated.
I wasn't even trying to argue for it actually... I was just trying to get to this point.
Last year, Juno was nominated for best picture.
Fucking Juno!
this movie is a fucking travesty...
I'm not going to elaborate... I'm just going to copy and paste some quotes from the movie... and I want you to cringe like the actors who had to deliver this garbage most likely did.
Juno: (calls Leah) I'm on suicide watch
Leah: Juno?
Juno: No it's Morgan Freeman. Do you have any bones that need collecting?
Juno: I'm pregnant
Leah: What? honest to blog?
Brief Rainn Wilson cameo that probably got movie another million tickets sold: (talking to Juno about pregnancy test) That ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet.
Juno: I think I'm in love with you
Paulie: you mean as friends?
Juno: No, I mean for real. Cause you're like the coolest person I've ever met and you don't even have to try, you know...
Vanessa: your parents are probably wondering where you are
Juno:Nah, I mean I'm already pregnant what other kind of shenanigans can I get into?
I can keep going, I could probably just put the whole movie here... and be furious...
Was Diablo Cody thinking she was catching the true essence of teenagers? Of Indie kids? Of any kind of real person?
Part of me thought she may have done it ironically... but I just have this hunch, that it is not at all... that'd be too clever... and this movie's not clever.
Honest to blog is not clever
it is fucking horse shit.
This movie got nominated... somehow, someway... the Academy not only acknowledged it as something worth sitting through... but something worth giving an award to also.
That is why I hate the academy
and that is why The Dark Knight deserves a best picture nomination.
But I do have feelings on the topic.
...Negative Ones...
(otherwise this would not be blog worthy)
First, I don't see why exactly it didn't get nominated I mean, it got 8 other nominations... and every person and their mother saw it this past summer and declared it was the best movie they've ever seen... so why not let it be included in the best movies of the year right?
And it's not as if it was just some superhero action flick... it had a lot of thought and depth put into it (that people claimed to love... to seem even more included in the trend of loving it, but you know for the most part they didn't think about or get it). It had good actors/characters... it was more of a crime thriller than a hero/action movie... and the academy usually loves well done crime thrillers (The Departed, No Country for Old Men...).
However... I do understand other things.
I understand that the Academy is most likely a bunch of pretentious elitist assholes who consider any movie that can be so widely loved by the masses... not worthy of such a noble award.
I also realize the movies not perfect... I NEED more fans of this movie to just fucking agree with me that their throat hurts whenever they hear Christian Bale deliver a line as Batman. That the movie could afford a little bit of a cut down... and that, well as good as Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker was, people should not be lined up around his tomb in an effort to blow his dead body for a job well done.
I'm sorry guy at concert who had a tattoo of the Ledger Joker... but you are a douche bag... and as I've said before... your tattoo, resembles you so well by suggesting that you are a friendless tool.
But lets agree it's a really good movie, they put a lot of thought and effort into it.. and it payed off. Batman fans and non-fans all thoroughly enjoyed it. It deserves credit.
However... that's not my argument for why the movie should be nominated.
I wasn't even trying to argue for it actually... I was just trying to get to this point.
Last year, Juno was nominated for best picture.
Fucking Juno!
this movie is a fucking travesty...
I'm not going to elaborate... I'm just going to copy and paste some quotes from the movie... and I want you to cringe like the actors who had to deliver this garbage most likely did.
Juno: (calls Leah) I'm on suicide watch
Leah: Juno?
Juno: No it's Morgan Freeman. Do you have any bones that need collecting?
Juno: I'm pregnant
Leah: What? honest to blog?
Brief Rainn Wilson cameo that probably got movie another million tickets sold: (talking to Juno about pregnancy test) That ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet.
Juno: I think I'm in love with you
Paulie: you mean as friends?
Juno: No, I mean for real. Cause you're like the coolest person I've ever met and you don't even have to try, you know...
Vanessa: your parents are probably wondering where you are
Juno:Nah, I mean I'm already pregnant what other kind of shenanigans can I get into?
I can keep going, I could probably just put the whole movie here... and be furious...
Was Diablo Cody thinking she was catching the true essence of teenagers? Of Indie kids? Of any kind of real person?
Part of me thought she may have done it ironically... but I just have this hunch, that it is not at all... that'd be too clever... and this movie's not clever.
Honest to blog is not clever
it is fucking horse shit.
This movie got nominated... somehow, someway... the Academy not only acknowledged it as something worth sitting through... but something worth giving an award to also.
That is why I hate the academy
and that is why The Dark Knight deserves a best picture nomination.
Friday, January 23, 2009
I's Gots a lotta things tuh say bout dis
So I'm currently taking Adolescent Literature, so for every class I'm basically reading... (or claiming to have read in some cases,) books that as a high school teacher I will be teaching - Catcher in the Rye, Great Gatsby, Chocolate War... etc.
So today we were reading Huck Finn, and during our conversation about it... we gradually got into the debate about how it's censored and excluded from curriculum for its... about 200x's use of the word nigger.
This really annoyed me... actually most debates about word censoring annoy me.
If you don't like the word, if it makes you uncomfortable... or makes you flinch, don't read the book... That's a starter, not happy with it... put it down, I'm sure Mark Twain can afford the loss.
But really, I have so many feelings on this topic... I can't organize them properly so excuse me if I go on a rant.
It's funny how a great piece of literature, which causes a person to think, and which a student can get so much out of is put on trial for the use of a word.
But you turn on a radio station, buy a rap CD and you'll hear the word thrown around meaninglessly... oh parson me, they change the ER to an A in the end and it doesn't imply the EXACT same word AT ALL.
Seriously people...
That's one strike against it.
It's either okay in all forms, or none at all... don't be hypocrites and say one's fine and another isn't.
So what, Mark Twain is white and Rappers who use it aren't, guess what... he used it in an intellectual, historical fashion... depicting the past, using the language they used, and they use it in a gangsta streetz fashion... which side would you rather take?
Then of course we can take it further and say, well... what else offends people.
You can't just let the argument stand for one person or group, you have to allow fairness to any and all persons/groups that find something offensive in literature.
So people get offended by any word, idea, concept... something completely outside the text that they somehow associate with it and get upset about.... they now have reason to ban that from curriculum as well.
It'd be complete nonsense, before you know it... every piece of literature would be off the market for containing some form of - racism, sexism, intolerance... something like abortion in a book would get it taken off.
If we took books off the market for offending people, every piece of gay literature would be taken out of the classrooms for making homophobic students/ or students with homophobic parents uncomfortable.
It's just not justified.
You can't completely ignore that a work has so much depth, and so much can be gained from it just because you disagree with an idea... or word in it.
It's straight up ignorant...
AND I'm not trying to get into the N word debate, I think it's so stupid... a word can only have as much power as you give it... and we can continue to ruin the career of any white man who stumbles and lets loose the horrible slur in any kind of public forum, while rappers throw it into their songs as filler and get more money... whatever, I don't wanna get into it.
But to deny people such a rich piece of literature, because it uses the word in a completely sensible and meaningful way is plain stupid.
If you're a parent who's fighting to get it taken out of classrooms... you're stupid
you're probably not even smart enough to raise a child.
Whatever, cry about a word... but feel free to completely miss the purpose of the story... the history of the word, and anything else one would gain from sitting down and reading a book.
So today we were reading Huck Finn, and during our conversation about it... we gradually got into the debate about how it's censored and excluded from curriculum for its... about 200x's use of the word nigger.
This really annoyed me... actually most debates about word censoring annoy me.
If you don't like the word, if it makes you uncomfortable... or makes you flinch, don't read the book... That's a starter, not happy with it... put it down, I'm sure Mark Twain can afford the loss.
But really, I have so many feelings on this topic... I can't organize them properly so excuse me if I go on a rant.
It's funny how a great piece of literature, which causes a person to think, and which a student can get so much out of is put on trial for the use of a word.
But you turn on a radio station, buy a rap CD and you'll hear the word thrown around meaninglessly... oh parson me, they change the ER to an A in the end and it doesn't imply the EXACT same word AT ALL.
Seriously people...
That's one strike against it.
It's either okay in all forms, or none at all... don't be hypocrites and say one's fine and another isn't.
So what, Mark Twain is white and Rappers who use it aren't, guess what... he used it in an intellectual, historical fashion... depicting the past, using the language they used, and they use it in a gangsta streetz fashion... which side would you rather take?
Then of course we can take it further and say, well... what else offends people.
You can't just let the argument stand for one person or group, you have to allow fairness to any and all persons/groups that find something offensive in literature.
So people get offended by any word, idea, concept... something completely outside the text that they somehow associate with it and get upset about.... they now have reason to ban that from curriculum as well.
It'd be complete nonsense, before you know it... every piece of literature would be off the market for containing some form of - racism, sexism, intolerance... something like abortion in a book would get it taken off.
If we took books off the market for offending people, every piece of gay literature would be taken out of the classrooms for making homophobic students/ or students with homophobic parents uncomfortable.
It's just not justified.
You can't completely ignore that a work has so much depth, and so much can be gained from it just because you disagree with an idea... or word in it.
It's straight up ignorant...
AND I'm not trying to get into the N word debate, I think it's so stupid... a word can only have as much power as you give it... and we can continue to ruin the career of any white man who stumbles and lets loose the horrible slur in any kind of public forum, while rappers throw it into their songs as filler and get more money... whatever, I don't wanna get into it.
But to deny people such a rich piece of literature, because it uses the word in a completely sensible and meaningful way is plain stupid.
If you're a parent who's fighting to get it taken out of classrooms... you're stupid
you're probably not even smart enough to raise a child.
Whatever, cry about a word... but feel free to completely miss the purpose of the story... the history of the word, and anything else one would gain from sitting down and reading a book.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
But Seriously, this isn't funny...
Something has really been bothering me as of late.
Family issues... and I know, this is not really the kind of place I need to vent about my family, and make public all the shit that's going on with people I share a name and blood with.
But you know what, the people I'm about to rip apart... aren't close family members of mine, are dumb enough to have brought it upon themselves, and when criticized openly help me to put down an entire group of other idiotic people and the shitty life-styles they follow.
So... my cousins, who have children... think drugs are awesome.
You know, like... crack and heroin... those cool drugs... that are really healthy for you, and help form good habits.
Anyway, I'm pretty disgusted, because hey...
First of all... who's dumb enough to even get into the scene. Hardcore drug use annoys the shit out of me... I mean, even cigarettes and pot annoy me so you can imagine how stupid I think the hard drug users are.
I mean... how do you even get into it... pot I can understand, whatever, as long as you're not the kind of person who's high 24/7 I can kind of see where you're coming from, but who's getting suckered into crack or heroin... I can imagine that drug dealer trying to get you to try it
Drug Dealer -"Hey, I know you like to smoke weed... so you'll love crack..."
My Cousin -" I dunno drug dealer, I hear it's really addicting and ruins lives...."
Drug Dealer - "No no no, that only happens to the suckers, and you don't seem like a sucker. Here... just try it once, if you don't like it don't buy it again..."
My Cousin - "Alright, I guess I'll give it a chance once... cause I'm not a sucker" ::gets addicted to crack, ruins her 2 daughters lives and gives birth to a 3rd crack addicted child!::
Yay!!! good people...
So yeah, I feel like to even get suckered into hard drug use you need to be a fucking idiot.
Then there's the complete lack of consideration for the children you're raising.
Man... MAN I can't even begin to elaborate on how much I hate shitty parents...
Let me just say this... I'm adopted.
I was adopted as a baby, and my parents had to go through so much to adopt me, background checks, various meetings with adoption counselors, having people randomly drop in on them to make sure they kept a good home and weren't drunks or druggies.
And this is what they do to people who WANT children, people who go out of their way to try and have a child put into their care... rather than random women/couples who just get knocked up and are like "oh shit a kid, looks like we're stuck with it..."
So apparently anyone who just shits out a kid is entitled to it no matter how shitty of a person they are.
Like my cousin who shows up at the hospital clearly high, gives birth to a crack addicted baby and leaves with her baby to take it back to her dumpy living arrangement.
While her other 2 kids are getting abandoned at school on a daily basis cause mom forgets to pick them up, and it's completely obvious these kids aren't being properly cared for but Child Services has yet to be notified... she gave birth to these kids, she deserves them.
What a great world.
Fucking bullshit, drug addicted un-nourishing bullshit parents who's kids will either die or keep reproducing and facing the same difficulties in life in an endless cycles of; drug addiction, family dysfunction, going nowhere in life bullshit.
I think, we should develop a system of tests that people giving birth go through.
Shit, put anyone who's going to have a child through the same shit my parents went through.
Then when they finally have the kid, keep bothering them, check in on them... keep tabs on the parents, make sure they're working... not getting involved in drugs/alcoholism... seriously.
The reason people are so fucked up is because they're raised by people so fucked up.
And then... if you fail to be a good parent... your kid gets taken away.. and either put up for adoption or put into a new government: start-em-young military program.
Cause they'd be better of being trained into soldiers at age 5, then in the hands of the shitty people who'd be "raising" them otherwise.
Family issues... and I know, this is not really the kind of place I need to vent about my family, and make public all the shit that's going on with people I share a name and blood with.
But you know what, the people I'm about to rip apart... aren't close family members of mine, are dumb enough to have brought it upon themselves, and when criticized openly help me to put down an entire group of other idiotic people and the shitty life-styles they follow.
So... my cousins, who have children... think drugs are awesome.
You know, like... crack and heroin... those cool drugs... that are really healthy for you, and help form good habits.
Anyway, I'm pretty disgusted, because hey...
First of all... who's dumb enough to even get into the scene. Hardcore drug use annoys the shit out of me... I mean, even cigarettes and pot annoy me so you can imagine how stupid I think the hard drug users are.
I mean... how do you even get into it... pot I can understand, whatever, as long as you're not the kind of person who's high 24/7 I can kind of see where you're coming from, but who's getting suckered into crack or heroin... I can imagine that drug dealer trying to get you to try it
Drug Dealer -"Hey, I know you like to smoke weed... so you'll love crack..."
My Cousin -" I dunno drug dealer, I hear it's really addicting and ruins lives...."
Drug Dealer - "No no no, that only happens to the suckers, and you don't seem like a sucker. Here... just try it once, if you don't like it don't buy it again..."
My Cousin - "Alright, I guess I'll give it a chance once... cause I'm not a sucker" ::gets addicted to crack, ruins her 2 daughters lives and gives birth to a 3rd crack addicted child!::
Yay!!! good people...
So yeah, I feel like to even get suckered into hard drug use you need to be a fucking idiot.
Then there's the complete lack of consideration for the children you're raising.
Man... MAN I can't even begin to elaborate on how much I hate shitty parents...
Let me just say this... I'm adopted.
I was adopted as a baby, and my parents had to go through so much to adopt me, background checks, various meetings with adoption counselors, having people randomly drop in on them to make sure they kept a good home and weren't drunks or druggies.
And this is what they do to people who WANT children, people who go out of their way to try and have a child put into their care... rather than random women/couples who just get knocked up and are like "oh shit a kid, looks like we're stuck with it..."
So apparently anyone who just shits out a kid is entitled to it no matter how shitty of a person they are.
Like my cousin who shows up at the hospital clearly high, gives birth to a crack addicted baby and leaves with her baby to take it back to her dumpy living arrangement.
While her other 2 kids are getting abandoned at school on a daily basis cause mom forgets to pick them up, and it's completely obvious these kids aren't being properly cared for but Child Services has yet to be notified... she gave birth to these kids, she deserves them.
What a great world.
Fucking bullshit, drug addicted un-nourishing bullshit parents who's kids will either die or keep reproducing and facing the same difficulties in life in an endless cycles of; drug addiction, family dysfunction, going nowhere in life bullshit.
I think, we should develop a system of tests that people giving birth go through.
Shit, put anyone who's going to have a child through the same shit my parents went through.
Then when they finally have the kid, keep bothering them, check in on them... keep tabs on the parents, make sure they're working... not getting involved in drugs/alcoholism... seriously.
The reason people are so fucked up is because they're raised by people so fucked up.
And then... if you fail to be a good parent... your kid gets taken away.. and either put up for adoption or put into a new government: start-em-young military program.
Cause they'd be better of being trained into soldiers at age 5, then in the hands of the shitty people who'd be "raising" them otherwise.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Girls Still Don't Like Sports
So the Eagles are in the playoffs this year... and after the Phillies winning this past World Series... hype is up.
But I just have something to point out...
No it's not that everyone is jumping the band wagon again. Or that everyone who complained how terrible they were all season are now claiming they believed in them the whole time.
It's all these chicks in Eagles jerseys I noticed, and despite a huge blog I wrote about it 2 years ago, and re-edited and posted a few months ago... again I need to stress.
STOP LYING GIRLS.... YOU DON'T LIKE SPORTS.
You don't... quit bullshitting us.
Guys don't pretend to like makeup and shoes to impress you.
And if they did pretend to like something to get close to you, you'd get mad at them and hate them until you realized after some crazy plot twist that they did it cause they like you so much... but we don't do that, we don't lie... so you shouldn't either.
So quit it, you don't like sports.... really.
And every person I mention this too insists they are the one exception or they know the one exception.
And you know... I am a rational person, so I will admit their are some exceptions... maybe 7 in this entire country, but the rest of you are lying assholes.
Consider this people... have you EVER walked into a girl's room or a room of girls and either A.) heard them discussing their favorite teams/players/games... or B.) walked in on them watching sportscenter?
It's never happened... it won't...
Don't kid yourself it won't
you MIGHT walk in on a girl(s) with an actual game on, but they're not paying attention... it's just on in hopes you'll walk in and think they care. Really they're on facebook tagging and commenting on photos. Occasionally they'll look up when they hear something about a goal or scoring unit, and then text you saying "did you see that OMG!" to trick you into thinking they give a shit about anything on TV other than the Hills. But they don't...
They really don't
Stop lying girls!
We're still not Fooled!
But I just have something to point out...
No it's not that everyone is jumping the band wagon again. Or that everyone who complained how terrible they were all season are now claiming they believed in them the whole time.
It's all these chicks in Eagles jerseys I noticed, and despite a huge blog I wrote about it 2 years ago, and re-edited and posted a few months ago... again I need to stress.
STOP LYING GIRLS.... YOU DON'T LIKE SPORTS.
You don't... quit bullshitting us.
Guys don't pretend to like makeup and shoes to impress you.
And if they did pretend to like something to get close to you, you'd get mad at them and hate them until you realized after some crazy plot twist that they did it cause they like you so much... but we don't do that, we don't lie... so you shouldn't either.
So quit it, you don't like sports.... really.
And every person I mention this too insists they are the one exception or they know the one exception.
And you know... I am a rational person, so I will admit their are some exceptions... maybe 7 in this entire country, but the rest of you are lying assholes.
Consider this people... have you EVER walked into a girl's room or a room of girls and either A.) heard them discussing their favorite teams/players/games... or B.) walked in on them watching sportscenter?
It's never happened... it won't...
Don't kid yourself it won't
you MIGHT walk in on a girl(s) with an actual game on, but they're not paying attention... it's just on in hopes you'll walk in and think they care. Really they're on facebook tagging and commenting on photos. Occasionally they'll look up when they hear something about a goal or scoring unit, and then text you saying "did you see that OMG!" to trick you into thinking they give a shit about anything on TV other than the Hills. But they don't...
They really don't
Stop lying girls!
We're still not Fooled!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Tim Burton has finally been inspired
Stumbling around the internet... I found myself reading up on some Tim Burton, Alice In Wonderland action.
However, I stopped reading when one particular article started irking me terribly.
Here's what annoyed me...
- Tim Burton’s live action/stop-motion hybrid “Alice in Wonderland” is easily one of the most anticipated. To date, the enigmatic director has generated considerable buzz for an inspired casting roster that includes Johnny Depp, Helen Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Michael Sheen, Christopher Lee and, of course, Anne Hathaway. -
Hummm.... sure, Burton found some good actors but I feel like if you're going to use the word "inspired," you shouldn't include in your list at least four actors he's worked with before... and you certainly shouldn't start the list with his boyfriend and wife who are in EVERY one of his movies.
There's nothing inspired about about Burton choosing Depp or B-Carter...
That's like saying you woke up one day and were inspired to get dressed...
You weren't inspired to get dressed... it's daily routine, it's normal... just as normal as Burton pondering his movie plans and wondering, "now where does Johnny fit in..."
Guuuhhh...
That's what I get for reading something from an MTV hosted movie blog... groan...
Don't ask me how I wound up on mtv, you know... you just stumble and find something your interested in.
The funny thing is... the average people reading up on their movie news on MTV probably didn't even question the use of "inspired."
They probably just went with it... "Johnny Depp... I love him... he's so hot... if I knew anything I'd kill myself from self-pity."
Well, the movie still sounds entertaining... I just hate shitty blogs.
However, I stopped reading when one particular article started irking me terribly.
Here's what annoyed me...
- Tim Burton’s live action/stop-motion hybrid “Alice in Wonderland” is easily one of the most anticipated. To date, the enigmatic director has generated considerable buzz for an inspired casting roster that includes Johnny Depp, Helen Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Michael Sheen, Christopher Lee and, of course, Anne Hathaway. -
Hummm.... sure, Burton found some good actors but I feel like if you're going to use the word "inspired," you shouldn't include in your list at least four actors he's worked with before... and you certainly shouldn't start the list with his boyfriend and wife who are in EVERY one of his movies.
There's nothing inspired about about Burton choosing Depp or B-Carter...
That's like saying you woke up one day and were inspired to get dressed...
You weren't inspired to get dressed... it's daily routine, it's normal... just as normal as Burton pondering his movie plans and wondering, "now where does Johnny fit in..."
Guuuhhh...
That's what I get for reading something from an MTV hosted movie blog... groan...
Don't ask me how I wound up on mtv, you know... you just stumble and find something your interested in.
The funny thing is... the average people reading up on their movie news on MTV probably didn't even question the use of "inspired."
They probably just went with it... "Johnny Depp... I love him... he's so hot... if I knew anything I'd kill myself from self-pity."
Well, the movie still sounds entertaining... I just hate shitty blogs.
Every Survey You've Ever Read
1.) Who was the last male you talked to?
These are the kinds of questions that get down in dirty... last male I talked to... you really get to know a person that way. Or if you're a girl reading another girls survey... you know which boy she's trying to be with... watch out... it's Jeff and you've always liked Jeff... what a bitch.
2.) Who is someone that can always make you laugh?
what? no who is the last female you talked to? No need for consistency... just go with it. That person who can always make you laugh better be reading this... or else no one cares. If anything, maybe a friend of yours who thought it would be them for sure is now thoroughly disappointed.
3.) What were you doing at 10am this morning?
If you're cool you'll say sleeping... your life's chill... you can sleep and relax.
If you're stressed you can say class... or work...
no matter how you put it... it isn't really interesting at all
4.) What were you doing an hour ago?
if you did this survey at 11am... boy are you in for some redundancy...
if you say you were still on question one of this survey you're so dumb...
face it... if you're filling this out right now... you couldn't have been doing anything TOO exciting an hour ago
5.) Are you wearing anything on your feet?
Again... as deep as you can get.
This is how you can really learn who your friends are, do they go barefoot or with socks around the house?
Did they just get home... could they be wearing shoes or sandals
you can tell a lot about your friends based solely on their footwear.
6.) What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months?
3 months? I'm doing a survey... I have nothing to look forward to ever
7.) Do you remember your dreams?
No one ever does.... and when they do it's incoherent, broken up-Tarentino-esc bullshit.
The only people who have anything to say about this is mushy saps who say they dream about their significant other... and they're lying.
8.) Where did your last hug take place?
I don't give a shit about who you hugged, or what the circumstances of the hug were (family, friend, date) I just wanna know where it took place... because it's bound to be interesting. Oh in your living room? you are fucking fascinating... I am so interested in your deep ass survey
9.) Have you been to a baby shower?
who gives a shit, this question sucks...
10.) What cell phone company do you use?
- insert witty joke about your self phone company and either how bad the service is, or reference a commercials - congratulations, you just grew a personality.
11.) What color is your hair brush?
A question worthy of the toilet. This survey is definitely meant solely as a time filler, it's like a little scavenger hunt around your house... you run to where you keep your comb; bedroom, bathroom, comb closet... and then report back to your computer to type in your findings.
12.) Do you watch the Super Bowl?
Yea I love sports because I am socially popular and generally like things that are generally liked!
13.) What about World Cup?
What's that... better wikipedia that so I can honestly respond by saying yes and referencing what sport it is.
14.) What about the world series?
On MAN!!! Phinally Pthe Phillies Phucking One It! I use PH's to express how big of a fan I am... because it can't properly be expressed with F's! I didn't even know PH could make an F sound with the exception of Philadelphia!
15.) Do you sleep with a teddy bear?
Who cares...
16.)What is the last movie you watched?
type a funny or popular movie here... it's not actually the last movie you watched... just something you put to catch someone's attention in hopes they will respond... or secretly feel more connected to you because they like it too
17.) What movie do you think everyone should watch?
Here you'll type a movie that seems deep, so you can seem like a deep and thoughtful person
but really you just want to type death race.
18.)What is your middle name?
irrelevant... no one will ever care.
19.) Do you have your future children's names picked out?
type one for girl/boy... hope someone of the opposite gender sees and responds... and congratulations, you've just met your soul mate... thanks myspace!
20.) Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
I hope it collapses next time you use it survey creator
21.)What brand is your computer printer?
again... back to the scavenger hunt b/s.... this question is the pits.
22.)Who was your Kindergarden teacher?
Wow, can't remember her name... but I can insert an ancient inside joke from my longest time best friend lololololol
23.) Are you taller than your mom?
who cares
24.) Do you have any bruises right now?
Insert interesting story about how you got your bruise - emphasize how much your life sucks if it happened at work, how athletic you are if you were playing sports, or how stupid you are if it's from a significant other.
25.) Are you cold right now?
someone I'm attracted to should definitely come cuddle with me.
26.)Do any of your close friends have kids?
they can do whatever they want who gives a shit
27.)Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
see above
28.)What is the closest red object to you?
I wish it was blood from your face. Look around the room, be aware of your surroundings... oh man! so interesting!
29.) What is your favorite video game?
Sports Game or Grand Theft Auto... if it's neither of those, no one will care so you won't even bother.
30.) Do you play games on your cell phone?
Actually... lacking a comment for this one... damn.
31.) Do you look more the your mom or dad?
make it seem like you care about your parents as more than just money/food supplying objects. Fooled you... everyone!
32.) Have you ever broken an pinata?
Actually this is a funny story, but no... this question is bullshit.
33.)Do you have an iPod or Mp3 player?
Same shit, who cares we all listen to music
34.)If someone doesnt like you its probably because:
Person fails to find any flaw of their own and blames it entirely on that person... maybe something is wrong with them.
35.) Who was the last person in your bedroom?
Insert boy or girl to cause some draaaama. Or a family member... because you're boring.
36.) What are your plans for this weekend:
insert something fun to make people jealous or make yourself seem popular
or type nothing in hopes someone will read it and send out an offer.
37.) Have you ever crawled through a window?
funny story or no... either way, you're still not interesting
38.)Do you lose your keys often?
no or funny story... again... boring
39.)When was your last encounter with the police?
Either A. Reference how smooth you are for staying out of trouble
or B.) talk about your last issue with the police, mentioning of course... how alcohol or pot were involved and how cool you are for being in an alcohol/pot environment.
40.) Do you always wear your seatbelt in the car?
awful question, uninteresting... there go 40 questions, 20 minutes of my life... ef this
These are the kinds of questions that get down in dirty... last male I talked to... you really get to know a person that way. Or if you're a girl reading another girls survey... you know which boy she's trying to be with... watch out... it's Jeff and you've always liked Jeff... what a bitch.
2.) Who is someo
what? no who is the last female you talked to? No need for consistency... just go with it. That person who can always make you laugh better be reading this... or else no one cares. If anything, maybe a friend of yours who thought it would be them for sure is now thoroughly disappointed.
3.) What were you doing
If you're cool you'll say sleeping... your life's chill... you can sleep and relax.
If you're stressed you can say class... or work...
no matter how you put it... it isn't really interesting at all
4.) What were you doing
if you did this survey at 11am... boy are you in for some redundancy...
if you say you were still on question one of this survey you're so dumb...
face it... if you're filling this out right now... you couldn't have been doing anything TOO exciting an hour ago
5.) Are you weari
Again... as deep as you can get.
This is how you can really learn who your friends are, do they go barefoot or with socks around the house?
Did they just get home... could they be wearing shoes or sandals
you can tell a lot about your friends based solely on their footwear.
6.) What are you looki
3 months? I'm doing a survey... I have nothing to look forward to ever
7.) Do you remem
No one ever does.... and when they do it's incoherent, broken up-Tarentino-esc bullshit.
The only people who have anything to say about this is mushy saps who say they dream about their significant other... and they're lying.
8.) Where
I don't give a shit about who you hugged, or what the circumstances of the hug were (family, friend, date) I just wanna know where it took place... because it's bound to be interesting. Oh in your living room? you are fucking fascinating... I am so interested in your deep ass survey
9.) Have you been to a baby showe
who gives a shit, this question sucks...
10.) What cell phone
- insert witty joke about your self phone company and either how bad the service is, or reference a commercials - congratulations, you just grew a personality.
11.) What color
A question worthy of the toilet. This survey is definitely meant solely as a time filler, it's like a little scavenger hunt around your house... you run to where you keep your comb; bedroom, bathroom, comb closet... and then report back to your computer to type in your findings.
12.) Do you watch
Yea I love sports because I am socially popular and generally like things that are generally liked!
13.) What about
What's that... better wikipedia that so I can honestly respond by saying yes and referencing what sport it is.
14.) What about
On MAN!!! Phinally Pthe Phillies Phucking One It! I use PH's to express how big of a fan I am... because it can't properly be expressed with F's! I didn't even know PH could make an F sound with the exception of Philadelphia!
15.) Do you sleep
Who cares...
16.)What is the last movie
type a funny or popular movie here... it's not actually the last movie you watched... just something you put to catch someone's attention in hopes they will respond... or secretly feel more connected to you because they like it too
17.) What movie
Here you'll type a movie that seems deep, so you can seem like a deep and thoughtful person
but really you just want to type death race.
18.)What is your middl
irrelevant... no one will ever care.
19.) Do you have your futur
type one for girl/boy... hope someone of the opposite gender sees and responds... and congratulations, you've just met your soul mate... thanks myspace!
20.) Do you have to drive
I hope it collapses next time you use it survey creator
21.)What brand
again... back to the scavenger hunt b/s.... this question is the pits.
22.)Who was your Kinde
Wow, can't remember her name... but I can insert an ancient inside joke from my longest time best friend lololololol
23.) Are you talle
who cares
24.) Do you have any bruis
Insert interesting story about how you got your bruise - emphasize how much your life sucks if it happened at work, how athletic you are if you were playing sports, or how stupid you are if it's from a significant other.
25.) Are you cold right
someone I'm attracted to should definitely come cuddle with me.
26.)Do any of your close
they can do whatever they want who gives a shit
27.)Do you know anyon
see above
28.)What is the close
I wish it was blood from your face. Look around the room, be aware of your surroundings... oh man! so interesting!
29.) What is your favor
Sports Game or Grand Theft Auto... if it's neither of those, no one will care so you won't even bother.
30.) Do you play games
Actually... lacking a comment for this one... damn.
31.) Do you look more the your mom or dad?
make it seem like you care about your parents as more than just money/food supplying objects. Fooled you... everyone!
32.) Have you ever broke
Actually this is a funny story, but no... this question is bullshit.
33.)Do you have an iPod or Mp3 playe
Same shit, who cares we all listen to music
34.)If someo
Person fails to find any flaw of their own and blames it entirely on that person... maybe something is wrong with them.
35.) Who was the last perso
Insert boy or girl to cause some draaaama. Or a family member... because you're boring.
36.) What are your plans
insert something fun to make people jealous or make yourself seem popular
or type nothing in hopes someone will read it and send out an offer.
37.) Have you ever crawl
funny story or no... either way, you're still not interesting
38.)Do you lose your keys often
no or funny story... again... boring
39.)When was your last encou
Either A. Reference how smooth you are for staying out of trouble
or B.) talk about your last issue with the police, mentioning of course... how alcohol or pot were involved and how cool you are for being in an alcohol/pot environment.
40.) Do you alway
awful question, uninteresting... there go 40 questions, 20 minutes of my life... ef this
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