Death Race... a Dick Flick for the Ages

Now, if you haven't seen the trailer for the Death Race yet, I suggest you watch it immediately.

As soon as i saw this trailer, I just saw the image of a bunch of guys sitting around a board-room, and discussing "the perfect dude movie."

One guy says, "dudes love cars", another guy seconds, "hot chicks," and other guys chimed in; guns, cars, sports and so on.

Finally these brilliant men put together the script for Death Race.
We have a corrupt prison warden who has her inmates compete in a no holds barred race to win their freedom. And, conveniently... she has just taken in a NASCAR racer who has just been arrested for the murder of his wife. She insists he play her game, and despite the fact that he may have been framed (the trailer, didn't try to keep any secrets apparently, no need to be curious about a plot in this movie) and is in no way a murderer... he has no problem competing in and potentially killing other inmates involved.. not to mention kicking guys asses in prison with his NASCAR... ultimate fighting jujitsu moves. Aside from driving a car with machine guns and Bond-esc trick devices attached to it... they also get paired up with a woman-inmate "Navigator" (because I'm sure these inmates with their death machine vehicles are just going to be let loose and may need to mapquest their racing route). These women inmates not only all happen to be smoking hot, but apparently have all the time in the world while in prison to do their hair, make-up and deciding on the hottest outfit they can find.

Ultimately, these guys have put together the biggest boner fest of the summer.
Jager-Bomb lovers around the country will be flocking to the theaters to get a load of this movie...
And despite the fact that I will eventually end up sitting through most of this movie on HBO or something... (likely with my roomate Doug so we can laugh our asses off at its ridiculousness) I just think that everyone who goes this movie... thinking it is legitimately going to be good... great... or awesome... is a fucking dumb meat-head, toolbag... and generally just sucks
I can't even begin to emphasize how much they suck.

Notice how I tried to sarcastically phrase the whole plot of the movie... but it was so terrible... I couldn't even get through the whole thing without making blatant stupid observations about it

That's all...

People Are Dull

People are dull.
It's one thing to drink beers or smoke pot... it's pretty standard nowadays... who cares.
It's another thing to brag about it and make it public knowledge like you're the coolest kid in the 9th grade... we get it... you enjoy indulging in intoxicating affairs... but lets face it... no one's impressed.

It's just so beat...
I overheard a story not too long ago in the Campus eatery that was "Oh man.. last night i went to the bar and I was so drunk I could hardly even count my money."
that was the story...
the main point being... not only can that person gain access to a bar... but they can drink and get tipsy there as well.
Wow... what a tale...
fall out of a window.

I just get really annoyed that these petty "be impressed by me," attitudes still live on into college when fucking everyone and their mom is drinking and smoking up.
If a story starts out "Oh man I was so drunk/high," then it's a bad story.
I'm not saying you can't tell a story about something funny that happened when you was "Crunked" but if you need to mention more than once that alcohol/pot was involved you're really just looking more to impress than to amuse.
Think about it like this... if that girl had told the story about getting drunk and being unable to count her money more like this, "Oh my god, I went to the bar last night... and I couldn't count my money so the bartender stuck his dick in my mouth."
That'd be a great story...
No need to over-explain the your drunk part... I mean you're at the bar... I'll just assume alcohol is involved.
And since the bartender rammed his rod in your mouth... something that is actually amusing happened.
Being unable to count cash isn't amusing... unless it's because you never learned how to count... then it'd be pretty entertaining.
But really... she just brought up the unable to count her money thing to add onto her "so drunk," idea... which was in fact the only thing she really wanted to say.

Another thing... why is drinking/smoking the fucking cornerstone of any social activity anymore?
It's not that I'm mad that you know... the guys always wanna have a few beers when they sit down to watch the game... what I mean is... those people that won't do anything UNLESS there is alcohol in someway related.
For example, when I offered out invitations to my "Chocolate Milk Challenge" earlier this year... which was a friendly competition to see which team of 4 could drink the most gallons of choc. milk... anyway, one friend of mine... who shall go unnamed... had this to say

"If i'm going to over-drink and puke it might as well be beer..."

Oh you mean... beer like every other day of your life.
I get it.. you like to drink... but why don't you try doing something a little more unique and entertaining for a change.
Needless to say that person missed out on a pretty fun experience to drink beer for the 5th time that week by himself in his basement.
But that's okay because drinking beer is much cooler doing... anything else.

Really kids what I'm trying to say is...
If your parents drink beer and smoke pot still... how cool could it really be?

"Freedom of Speech.. unless you hurt someone's feelings"

Last week Jesse Jackson got in trouble and apologized when he got caught mumbling into a mic he thought was off about how he would like to cut off Obama's nuts.
And earlier this week... Chase Utley got in trouble and apologized after New Yorker's booed him and he mumbled "Fuck you" to them

Well... "fuck you, I wanna cut your nuts off" is exactly what I think and have to say to... well EVERYONE.

I don't get it... we're a country that prides itself on and constantly brags about a Freedom of Speech...
yet every week we have someone on TV apologizing to the whole country for something they said that "wasn't appropriate."

and all this reminds me of shit like Imus.. with his nappy headed ho's comment
and The Dog who went on an N bomb dropping rant.

And they all apologize... not because they're sorry but... to satisfy those 3 people who were legitimately upset about what they said and to get out of the negative spotlight.

It just irritates me.. because it's so shitty and fake.
No one's really sorry for what they said
No one's really hurt by what they said...
I mean shit... Utley saying "Fuck you" to New York...
I'm sure New York was really hurt by that one!
And anything racial that gets said
oh man.
The dog using the N word.. is that hurting the black community
NO.. NO it's not
it makes him look like an asshole.. that's about it
actually his apology made him look like even more of an asshole...
"I thought I was cool enough to get away with it... now I know it hurts their feelings."
What a pot of fucking shit.
and lets face it... if the media didn't jump right on this shit and immediately make it public no one would know about it, care about it, and the people who said it certainly wouldn't have regrets of any kind.

I didn't realize the idea of Freedom of Speech really encompassed
"Freedom of Speech.. unless you hurt someone's feelings"