The Swine Flu

I just realized I have yet to make a post on the swine flu.

As it's a terrifying pandemic affecting people in my country and area, I must say something.

So I'll keep this brief.

My first day back at the Wawa this summer, I was in the back room sneezing and blowing my nose. One of the women I worked with came back and started to say "hope you don't have the swine flu... it's pretty scary. Actually, one of the Pennsylvania cases was at a school right down the street from my house. It's scary, but yeah... you go to college a lot of people in one little town. So be careful."

And that's why she'll work at wawa for eternity.

That's all

John's Letter to Asher Roth

Dear Asher Roth,

I've recently discovered your song "I Love College," and I'm not sure whether or not I want to sue you for publicizing MY life... or to hire you to write my biography.

Shit man... your song has every detail of my life down: Miller Light, Thirsty Thursdays, Beer Pong, pizza, sex and weed... not to mention the constant chants my friends and I always do such as "Freshman! Freshman! Freshman!" and "Do something crazy!"
Cause we always chant at the freshman... cause they're so differentiated from us upper class-man.
And as for "do something crazy," well nothing noteworthy has ever happened at school without that chant to set it in motion.

You got it all down... I'm not even sure how you managed to get it all into one song.

What you really got down was the philosophy of my life... as well as most of my friend's lives of, "times not wasted when you're getting wasted."
I mean you have a point in "I can't tell you what I learned in school... but I can tell you a story or two."
It's true... I'm not here for education, or bettering myself, or learning any gay shit.
Just drinking and weed all night every night... hangovers every morning. Things I could never achieve without giving thousands of dollars to an educational institute every year... ya know!

I don't wanna keep you too long bro... cause I'm sure you've got other commercial and youth of America exploiting MTV songs and videos to produce.
But just thanks so much...
Especially for not making the title of the song "I love Kutztown" or "John *&%#$ loves college" cause I just would have gotten all this fame and publicity... that I didn't need.
But... that biography offer still stands.

-Your Biggest Fan,
John.

P.S. I hope you die in a fire.