Now, if you haven't seen the trailer for the Death Race yet, I suggest you watch it immediately.
As soon as i saw this trailer, I just saw the image of a bunch of guys sitting around a board-room, and discussing "the perfect dude movie."
One guy says, "dudes love cars", another guy seconds, "hot chicks," and other guys chimed in; guns, cars, sports and so on.
Finally these brilliant men put together the script for Death Race.
We have a corrupt prison warden who has her inmates compete in a no holds barred race to win their freedom. And, conveniently... she has just taken in a NASCAR racer who has just been arrested for the murder of his wife. She insists he play her game, and despite the fact that he may have been framed (the trailer, didn't try to keep any secrets apparently, no need to be curious about a plot in this movie) and is in no way a murderer... he has no problem competing in and potentially killing other inmates involved.. not to mention kicking guys asses in prison with his NASCAR... ultimate fighting jujitsu moves. Aside from driving a car with machine guns and Bond-esc trick devices attached to it... they also get paired up with a woman-inmate "Navigator" (because I'm sure these inmates with their death machine vehicles are just going to be let loose and may need to mapquest their racing route). These women inmates not only all happen to be smoking hot, but apparently have all the time in the world while in prison to do their hair, make-up and deciding on the hottest outfit they can find.
Ultimately, these guys have put together the biggest boner fest of the summer.
Jager-Bomb lovers around the country will be flocking to the theaters to get a load of this movie...
And despite the fact that I will eventually end up sitting through most of this movie on HBO or something... (likely with my roomate Doug so we can laugh our asses off at its ridiculousness) I just think that everyone who goes this movie... thinking it is legitimately going to be good... great... or awesome... is a fucking dumb meat-head, toolbag... and generally just sucks
I can't even begin to emphasize how much they suck.
Notice how I tried to sarcastically phrase the whole plot of the movie... but it was so terrible... I couldn't even get through the whole thing without making blatant stupid observations about it
That's all...
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2 comments:
Death Race is a remake of a film based on an Atari game that caused the first ever video game controversy.
Makes more sense now?
I can see a new humor in it now... as an incredibly simple video game transformed into a possibly more simple movie.
Haha...
but aside from the 10 er 15 people who will see it as that...
the audience... will still resemble a slaughterhouse full of tons of pounds of mindless dead beef.
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