Your Tattoo is Stupid...

I've realized throughout my life... that there are some things people talk to me about... that I will never truly give a shit about.
It can't be helped... people just think some aspect of their life is so interesting that other people care... so they tell others about it... but nobody wants to hear it.
Here's a list of a few things people tell me that I will never care about.

Your Heritage - This is my number one! the biggest fucking nuisance that people think others care about. I hate listening to people tick off percentages and fractions that have no meaning... someone told me once that they were an 11th jewish... what does that even mean? you're probably an 11th jewish and 10-11th's uninteresting douche-bag. Your numbers and "nationalities" have no meaning at all... you were born in America, your parents were born in America... you're American... you're a boring, white American kid. Then some people think they have like... unique heritages... like "I've actually got (some random American Indian tribe) in me... "oh wow, you're so complex, magical and natural you've got a useless fraction of Native American in you. Like I'm really interested in the fact that some distant relative of yours raped some helpless young Indian girl.... and was willing to keep the rape child in the family.... you're so interesting.
Here is what I hear whenever someone tells me about their heritage - "I have ancestors that were from places..."
You know who else has ancestors who were from places?
I'm sure you can figure it out...
Everyone, with maybe the exception of test tube babies... has ancestors... from places.
aaannnd the test tube babies have a much more interesting origin story than any of you.

Your Tattoos - I hate nitwits that talk about their tattoos like they have any kind of deep and significant meaning. They don't. People claim to get tattoos for themselves, yet they get them in obvious areas where people notice and ask about them... and then they have a story about it... yeah I'm sure you got it just for yourself. You just got it because it's quicker than developing a personality. And they never have any real meaning behind them either... lets take my sister's friend for example, who was blah-bragging about her stupid tattoo of Marilyn Monroe... she said something along the lines of how she got it "to commemorate and remember her grandmom." Oh wow... you're so caring, and deep and interesting... chances are she never had more than a 5 minute conversation with her grandmother. And if she had, she probably would've realized that her grandmother and most of her grandmother's generation would be petrified and disgusted by tattoos... chances are, her grandmother died when she tried to tell about getting this travesty of a tattoo... so then she said it was for it.
Whatever, your tattoo is stupid, it has no real meaning... just like your shitty existence... I hope it gets seared off in a terrible ironing accident.

Your Sex Life - Sometimes people I know, think I give a shit about their sex lives... now, don't get me wrong... horror and humor stories I LOVE to hear... when something goes terribly or hilariously wrong during sex... I'm down to listen... but when you just think I wanna hear who you've had sex with, or where you've had sex, or how many people you've banged... I have absolutely no desire to hear about it. Why would I care? I care so little about people's sex lives... I can't even continue to elaborate on how little I care... I just don't give a shit... when you fuck someone famous let me know... but until then... don't give a shit, there is nothing noteworthy or interesting about your love life. You know what... how about... from now on, whenever someone tells me about their sex life, I'm just going to assume they're coming onto me...

Brain Fart... I will finish this another time... because I know I have more to say.