Too Mad To Come Up With Witty Title

Yesterday I hung out with my cousin who I haven't seen for about 5 months.
It stinks, we're really good pals who have a lot in common but we never really get to hang out.
So I did what every friend does when he hasn't seen one of his best friends in a while does... I went to work with him.
Haha, random stupid story... but I want to get to the real point.
to pass the time while he did actual work, I had to read the Celebrity Rags around his office...
And god are those things awful...
Allow me to elaborate on my hatred of famous people, the media, and the shitty people who respond to this bullshit medium.

One article had to do with Tara Reid... and how she's been going through life, "horribly disfigured" from her botched plastic surgery. This article got all intimate and deep with her about how she's trying to live with her scars, and how difficult it's been for her to get work.
You know what, I don't really have too much sympathy for the victims of bad plastic surgery.
This perfectly pretty woman, decided she wasn't happy with the thought of millions of American Men cranking it to her photos in Maxim, and her attractiveness in movies. Also, her huge movie star pay checks weren't enough to make her feel any better... so she had to go, and try to get surgery to make herself look and feel better.
Great... great idea.
I have no sympathy for your fucked up boob job.
If anything, it should be a felony to ruin such respectable breasts... what a fool.
Then she goes and gets shitty work done on her stomach...
all 105 lbs of her worrying how her stomach looks.
Like she can't get a personal trainer, or work out every day... you know how hard the celebrity work year is... working 90 days a year with millions to show for it.
So then her stomach surgery goes awry and she has these weird fucking scars on her chest.
But I have no sympathy for her... no one should. Fuck her...
She let the shitty media get to her, she went nuts... she tried to improve on her already perfectly fine body, it was ruined... good, I think we all learned a lesson.
There should be no sympathy... fuck her, get over it.

Then there's this other broad, who's name I didn't bother to learn cause I don't really know her from anything. She was in Dream Girls, apparently won an Oscar, and recently a few members of her family were murdered.
And all these magazines are talking about... "how she's coping," "what shes going through..." blah blah blah....
I mean, yes violent crime, murder are HORRIBLE things, but guess what... she's not the only victim of violent crime in this country. Since you've covered this story for the past 4 months, how many other families have been destroyed due to violence like this?
I honestly don't care how she's coping... I wanna hear from the low income families, that are literally devastated and destroyed due to violent crime.
Where the kids go into crime and drugs cause they can't cope and they don't have proper guardianship... and no one can afford to take care of them.
Fucking dumb celebrities, crying for my sympathy.
Then Oprah is mentioned as lending her support.
Oh thank goodness Oprah, you always save the day... with your throwing money and care into the direction of someone already getting money and care, and giving so much to people... yeah... your whole audience really needs new cars, that money used to get those cars definitely couldn't have gone into who knows how much food for less fortunate, or who knows how much it could have renovated a homeless shelter.
How charitable of you...

Then of course EVERY fucking magazine has to go into depth about the love triangle of Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Anniston. Like i give a fuck how many foreign children Jolie is adopting, and how hard Anniston is trying to find a man to replace Brad. Fuck these people... I don't give a shit... at all...
One magazine had a poll "Do you approve of Jennifer Anniston's Dating John Mayer?"
62% said no, 37% said yes, and 1% said, " I don't even know these people they're rich assholes why would I even give a fuck?"
I was obviously part of the last 1% which I made up.
Is that really a poll? who are these people really checking these websites and responding.
"John Mayer is totally not for Jennifer...gabba gabba heyyy."

You people need real friends, hobbies, and interests....

And if you're wondering why, since I hate these magazines and celebrities so much... would I even bother to look at them?
Obviously because I knew they'd piss me off to the point that I'd make a blog entry.