I want to take James Marsden on a date. Actually, I want to take him on a lot of dates. And I want us to develop a comfortable love life and relationship. Eventually even a marriage... and we can have a beautiful life together with; two and a half kids, a golden retriever and a house with a white picket fence.
Not because I'm gay or anything.
Because I'm not and if I were, James Marsden is kind of an obscure guy to want as my man lover.
But, I want to do this for him, because he deserves it. Judging from the 3 X-Men movies, Enchanted, Superman Returns and the Notebook he kind of gets the bad end of the deal in his love-life.
In every one of these movies, he gets the shaft. And I'm not sure what else he's been in (except the movie Sex-Drive... in which his character ends up being gay, so literally does get the shaft) but I imagine he gets dicked over in all of his other movies and real life as well. He's just the Hollywood go to guy to get fucked over in his relationship.
X-Men 1-3 for example. He's Jean Gray's guy, and leader of the X-men. But he comes off as a jerk-off? Why? Because Wolverine is trying to get some of his girl, so he treats him poorly. I don't think that's a dick move... that's fucking normal. If a guy's coming onto your girl, and blowing you off... he's a fucking douche-bag and he deserves no respect from you. But Cyclops Marsden comes off as a dick because of his protectiveness with Jean, and dislike for Wolverine. And ultimately, is fucking KILLED by his girl when she is possessed by some kind of super being. And that Wolverine gets to kiss her and tell her he loves her in the end, he also kills her for being possessed... but still. That sucks man... he has to compete with Wolverine who "loves" her because of one good conversation they have AND he gets killed. Bullshit.
In Enchanted. He is the typical fairy tale prince searching for his bride. He sings, is valiant, goes on a huge journey to find and rescue the princess... he's fucking perfect Prince Marsden, . But what happens? She falls for some regular dude from the real world in the end. When I questioned this I was told that this was a feminist attempt to "break the fairy tale traditions," but that's no excuse. This guy has nothing but good intentions. He jumped into a foreign dimension to fucking rescue her... and he gets the shaft!? No good.
In The Notebook, he is the "other guy." You know, the guy Rachel McAdams has been dating and is ENGAGED too... because her ex-lover disappeared, stalked her for years, and obsessed over her to the point of building her a house. And again, Notebook Marsden gets ditched by his fucking fiance for this other schmuck. I pointed this out to girls who adore this movie for its "romantic qualities" and was told it was because Notebook Marsden is wealthy and materialistic. A) This isn't proven! Just because a guy is wealthy and successful doesn't mean he's materialistic per se. and B) the other guy lures her in by building her a fucking house. That's materialistic, not romantic. If it was romantic they could live in a fucking cardboard box because they loved each other so much.
in Superman Returns, he is dating Lois Lane. No need to elaborate... he's competing with FUCKING SUPERMAN.
Now, as you can see I've presented a clear case of James Marsden being a great man... in need of a great AND loyal woman.
If I'm lucky, a woman out there will read this, and date and marry him for me.
Or maybe, we can find some people who agree, we can start a petition and try to get this man some success.
But... if nothing happens soon.
I will do for this man what needs to be done.
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1 comment:
I wished James Marsden were gay!
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