I Hate Couples

So yesterday, I walk out of my class and directly in front of me in the hallway is this couple, deeply and passionately making out.
Just... gross, and inappropriate... and to me, a little pathetic.
Basically I hate couples.
Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I'm squeamish about public displays of affection... I just think, that the hallway of an education building, isn't the kind of place to have your tongues shoved down each others throat.
Why? For what reason do you need to make out here in such a fashion?
"Oh baby, come on... kiss me I have to go to class and I won't get to see you for 50 minutes... 50 dreadful, unbearable minutes"
Ohhh man, how hard that'll be to get through.
Seriously, if I witnessed this same make out session at an airport, where one of them had just walked off a plane after being in Europe for 3 months, and while in Europe they almost cheated on their significant other with some kinky European, but then before they did the deed they realized that their special one back home was the only one for them so they stopped... and so this homecoming is really emotional.
I'd totally understand, it would be adorable to me... I'd photograph or film it for them, would retell the story in enthusiasm, it'd be fantastic.
But really, here in this situation... they're just overly-physical, mushy douche bags.

Couples are the WORST.

I hate when you're around those couples that just need to be touching all the time.
For whatever reason... maybe when they aren't physically linked in some way they weaken. Who knows...
Or the couples that always have to come in a complete package.
You can't do something with just the one of them, they need to be together...
Or people, who need to like get permission to go out and do something...
"Oh... what's that honey, I can't do anything if you can't... alright that sounds reasonable... sorry guys I can't go out because my girlfriend has work and it's not fair for me to have fun while she works..."
Sounds healthy.

Ugh...

Another thing I can never stand is when a guy will never shut up about how great his girlfriend is, and how everyone needs to meet her.
That's so gay... listening to him, "You guys... you have to meet her she's so great."
Chances are, if she was as great as you claim her to be, you'd have more competition for her... and probably wouldn't have her at all.
You're probably the only person who thinks she's great... we don't care, we don't even wanna meet her, if you didn't coerce her into hanging out with us we'd never see her... and it'd be no loss.
Then she comes to hang out, and everyone is let down because she's not great at all. She doesn't say anything... or she like gets mad at you or your friends for poor behavior or offensive jokes... and you guys get in a fight about it later.
Now both of you look like assholes, because she's not great at all... not even a little, and you... just look like an overly-attached douche.

You know who has the best girlfriends, the guy who... you're not even sure is dating anyone. He just randomly shows up with his girl and everyone's like "I didn't even know, did you know..."
She's usually really cool and laid back, and everyone generally likes her and finds her to be a very agreeable person.

But... as I was saying.
Don't do these things people...
Don't be in a mushy douchey unbearable couple...
Make out in private.
Spend time apart.
And ALWAYS be aware that no one outside your relationship really gives a shit about it (Except maybe your parents or offspring).